Yesterday was the perfect example of a day gone wrong. It all began when both kids reached for the jar of homemade granola at the same time and neither 'gave.' Anger triggered, growling ensued, and the triggered child wisely left the table to calm down. The three of us remaining ate breakfast. Awhile later, Daddy off to work, the upset child returned, ate some breakfast, I bantered a little with humor and things were looking up. Until the sibling said something that was funny when I said it, but not when said sibling repeated it.
And the day fell apart. From there, more anger, yelling, tears, and so on. (This is just the kids, not me.)
We are a family of sensitive people, some of us more than others. We are a family of anxious people, some of us more than others. Sometimes, the two come together in a perfect storm of overwhelm, stress, fatigue, personality, and temperament that little brains and bodies have trouble processing. It can knock a homeschool day (or any day) off its feet pretty quickly. So here are my strategies for saving a day (in no particular order)...
- Humor. It's my word of the year for a reason. Picture this: On Sunday, the kids were being total stinkers to each other (current trend here) and once we got them to the dinner table, Hubby starts to correct them, very seriously. He says something about farting (which one had done at the other) and that was it....even I was trying not to spit food while I laughed. The laughter was a wonderful release, we ate, and then we addressed the poor behaviors, which was better timing.
- Just add water. My dear friend, Liz, taught me this one when Little Brown Mouse was tiny. You pick your form (swimming, river exploration, a bath with food coloring, having kids wash dishes or clothes in super bubbly water, etc.), but water fixes a lot.
- DEAR. Drop Everything And Read (aloud, to them).
- Cry. Seriously. Take a moment and have a big cry. That kind of release for mamma can clear you to be able to connect with the crazy kiddos to help calm the storm. Yesterday, I went in my room, had a big cry, and texted my husband, a dear friend, and my listening partner. It helped me be zen with the kids.)
- Nature! Get outside! While we still had some bumps (my highly sensitive kiddo was just struggling yesterday, needed a big cry, and is just anti-crying right now), dropping my agenda, telling them to get their art supplies and nature books, and heading to the redwoods made a huge difference in not losing the entire day to meltdowns.
- Focus on what IS working. We end our day with a rose and a thorn. I load on the roses on days like yesterday. Three of us said 'sitting in the woods, drawing in our nature journals' was the rose. And it was.
As far as mamma recovery at the end of a rough day? I am still working on the magic remedy. Generally, it happens best if I stay calm through bedtime, then let off a little griping to Hubby, do a little meditation and journaling, and get to bed early.
Your outings look like ours...especially random naturally packaged snacks. Apples, bananas, pears, oranges or mandarins and we are set (sometimes some nuts thrown in for good measure--and my blood sugar levels :-)
ReplyDeleteSnacks are essential! Yes to nuts...we have those with raisins and dried blueberries in "snack sacks." :)
DeleteLately Oscar, who too many people think is just perfect, has been loosing it. Sometimes I think he needs more down time. But the other day, when I was about to say no to an excursion because I thought he needed to play by himself, he went out (bouldering as it was) and he came home happy and normal. Exercise, for Oscar it is exercise. For Henry we give burrito rolls across the floor in a blanket, and it helps, but not always. We also do DEAR a lot, much to Bobby's distress. Bobby hates it when we read. He tries to take the book from us so he can "read" it himself. I can't tell you the last time I actually finished reading a book to Bobby. So when I read to the other boys my arms get exercise as I often end up holding the book over our heads so Bobby can't read it.
ReplyDeleteF was in a super high energy place a year ago too. Very appropriate developmentally. Now my kids have swapped. F is mellower and Lala Bug is super high energy. Give Bobby some board books to "read" while you read.
DeleteSuch a great list, Nicola! My favorite rescue activity has long been getting outside. It's often a balm for me, too! And I love the "Just add water" idea. I remember when my boys were younger (and they're 16 months apart), on crazy days when we were felt stuck indoors, a bubble bath was a wonderful respite from the storm. Stick them in the tub. Or get into the tub yourself!
ReplyDeleteYes! It took me too long to adopt the airplane oxygen mask rule; take care of myself so I can take care of them. The place we went to shown in the photographs is near our home and is such a soothing, beautiful, quiet spot on weekdays, so it feels like we are getting away from it all. It works for me, so in turn, works for them.
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