to the moon and back

Dear Lala Bug,

Today marks my 12th journey around the sun as a mamma. You have made this so! This year has been one of such incredible growth. So much growth, sweet girl, that I am crying as I write this, because growth can bring both joy and pain. I am sure someone told me, before you were born, how much wonder, learning, and joy being a mother would bring. Maybe they even told me about the pain, too. I don't remember. I do remember being told to enjoy every moment, even the hard ones, because they go so quickly.
Oh, they do.

Your confidence and your curiosity have continued to soar this year. You have become a little more willing to try some of the things that previously made you nervous or frustrated. You have also come into your own a little more and I am doing the hard part of stepping back a little, letting go a little, still being there when you need me, but knowing that, soon, I won't be the sun in your little world. And that is hard for this sensitive, emotional mamma.

You still are so grounded in who you are; how and what you love to play, your favorite colors. (All that I wrote last year still applies.) You are still passionate about soccer. You know all about the soccer greats, but your heart lies firmly with the U.S. women's team. You still love ballet and there is nothing like a good dance fest in the living room to shake off the grumpies and return to center. You've found an appreciation for U2, John Denver, and The Beatles this year. You feel good about the way we are addressing your worries and you still find knitting (and crochet) a relaxing activity, whipping out a record number of skilled projects, including Stan the Stegosaurus. (All while I am still working on that ridiculous pair of slippers!)

Sweet cheeks, my hope for this year ahead is that you experience peace and pleasure in all that you are increasingly able to do as you grow. My hope for me is that I am able to continue nurturing our connection in new and loving ways. You are gift! I love you to the moon and back. A million times.

Love, Mamma