this is my job

Social studies in the living room

This is the season of holiday parties, and in some of my online homeschooling communities, the question has arisen "What do you say when people ask what you do?" Honestly, this question doesn't bother me. I tell people what I do. But...this question generally comes from people I don't know, so it is more entertaining than anything else to watch and hear the responses. I have no investment in their opinion.

This year was the first time I can remember having conversations that left me feeling a little uprooted. At the time, I was momentarily phased, but it wasn't until later (early the next morning while exercising and having a quiet moment alone with my thoughts) that the words and the meanings meshed into something in my mind a little more weighty.

Writing holiday cards to nursing home residents

First, I was asked "so...just how long have you been a stay at home mom?" (Almost nine years. Nine of them. That's a lot of flippin' years.) The next person asked "so you still don't work, do you?" Honestly, my response to this one was "Actually, I work A LOT."

Okay, so I am a sensitive soul, and these were lovely, well intended questions from friends of my parents. People who probably don't really care a bit about what I really do, don't actually hold judgement on me, and who are just trying to make conversation. But they probably do care about my parents, they probably do compare what their own children are doing with what their friends' kids are doing, and perhaps my own parents do, too. As a sensitive soul, the questions linger and add themselves to the questions I have of myself. As I roll into mid-life, what am I doing with my life? What next?

 Learning about bridges with Uncle S

Well let me tell you...A LOT. I am teaching, learning, facilitating opportunities, fostering curiosities, exploring all sorts of topics, crafting, creating, and connecting with my children. I am good at it. It is hard. I am making decisions all. day. long. It is nearly impossible to find quiet. There are limits to my knowledge (as is the case for every teacher) and I don't get paid (in money). But this is my job and although I get grumpy, tired, stressed (the stakes are high!), and overwhelmed sometimes, I am privileged to do it and it is no less important than having an advanced degree or a passion-driven job as some of my peers are paid to do.

I am blessed to be in an extended family who, while concerned and curious, are supportive and interested, invested, and wanting to help. I am not generally questioned or undermined. Occasional comments are made that leave me wondering if they are disappointed with the choices I/we have made, if there is embarrassment at having to answer that I am not working (for a paycheck), but judgments and negative comments are kept to themselves, support is offered and given often, and I know we have opened the door to a world of possibilities, not just to our children, but to our families, as well.

I don't know what next. I am trying to be present in what is in front of me right now, as it is so fleeting. I have inklings of ideas of the possibilities for me when I am no longer homeschooling and have faith the doors will open when the time is right.

Right now, I am a home educator. This is my job. What do you do?