a gift from the sea: a which name? re-post

This post was first written and posted to my original blog, Which Name?, on July 22, 2010. I selected it to re-post now, in the midst of a conversation in a beloved mamas group about our need for alone, restorative time. One mama mentioned this book, I chimed in that I used to re-read it, and I remembered that I had blogged about it. Fourteen years ago(!) I was struck by its relevance and it is still relevant today. What does that mean about a mother's/woman's changing needs (or lack of change) over time? The time of our own lives, but also over the time since this book was written, nearly 70 years ago?

 

July 22, 2010

a gift from the sea

Summer brought a change in pace, activities, time, and energy this year. I've felt a bit pulled in multiple directions, feeling always "on" with my children, craving a vacation. Craving time alone.

I have always felt guilty with this need. After all, I am incredibly fortunate to be home with my children. There are days I send a very reluctant Mike off to work and I am reminded, again, what a gift he is giving me. Although they can be trying (I've given up attempting to keep my house clean this summer. I have been too busy on damage control), our children are also very sweet, are the best of friends, and I am blessed to have the time with them to truly know them.


But it can be tiring, giving of oneself to others without enough personal rejuvenation.

I have carved out time for creating, often with the kids, but I have had little time alone, to just sit and be. What time I have stolen (because truly, it feels as though I am taking time from someone else (my husband?) or something else (sleep, perhaps?) to make it so), I have been reading.

I have just finished A Gift from the Sea, by Anne Morrow Lindbergh.


I have always considered myself a mountain and forest girl first, despite growing up by the ocean, but in recent months, it has been the sea and sand I have been craving for rejuvenation.

I cannot express how perfect this book was for me to read at this time. Set by the ocean, with the ocean as the theme, Lindbergh discusses being a woman. Perhaps what amazed me most is that this book was written in 1955, yet still managed to touch so many pieces of my own life today. How poignantly history is woven into the now. It will probably always be this way in some way.

I want to share with you with some quotes from the book.


"…Today, more of us in America than anywhere else in the world have the luxury of choice between simplicity and complication of life. And for the most part, we, who could choose simplicity, choose complication.”

“Every person, especially every woman, should be alone sometime during the year, some part of each week, and each day. How revolutionary that sounds and how impossible of attainment. To many women, such a program seems quite out of reach.”

“Moon shell…You will remind me that I need to be alone for part of each year, even a week or a few days; and for part of each day, even for an hour or a few minutes in order to keep my core, my center, my island-quality. You will remind me that unless I keep the island-quality intact somewhere within me, I will have little to give my husband, my children, my friends or the world at large.”

“Nothing feeds the center more than creative work, even humble kinds like cooking and sewing. Baking bread, weaving cloth, putting up preserves, teaching and singing to children, must have been far more nourishing than being family chauffeur or shopping at super markets…”

“Evening is the time for conversation. Morning is for mental work…Afternoon is for physical tasks, the out-of-door jobs. But evening is the time for sharing, for communication.”

“What release to write so that one forgets oneself, forgets one’s companion, forgets where one is or what one is going to do next…”

“We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror at its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life, as in love, is in growth, in fluidity – in freedom…”

“…each cycle of the tide is valid; each cycle of the wave is valid; each cycle of a relationship is valid.”

“My life…lacks this quality of significance because there is so little empty space. The space is scribbled on; the time has been filled. There are so few empty pages in my engagement pad, or empty hours in the day, or empty rooms in my life in which to stand alone and find myself….it is not merely the trivial that clutters our lives, but the important as well.”

With those words of wisdom, written 55 years ago and still so poignant for me today, I am stepping offline to spend some time at my "island." Each year since I was an infant, my family has spent part of the summer up in the mountains at a lakeside cabin, accessible by boat or foot only, with no power or hot water.

This summer, our lake time begins tomorrow. My mind, body, and soul cannot wait. While not alone, in the lack of space of the small cabin, there is somehow much more space being set in nature, and I am craving that now.

Have a wonderful week. I have some posts scheduled to appear in this space, but I won't be back with you all for a week and a half or so. Be well...

 

homeschool 2023-2024

 

 

We have entered our 12th year of home learning! 

This year, Brown Mouse is in 10th grade and Lala Bug has moved out of high school and declared her major in apparel design and merchandising.

After expressing interest in heading to a brick and mortar school for the rest of high school (a door we left open by homeschooling through a charter school), lots of conversations, visiting schools, narrowing down choices, and sitting in classrooms, Brown Mouse opted to continue homeschooling. He's got a full load with geometry, physics, English, U.S. history, life skills/transition, P.E., and driver's ed. He is biking (mountain and road), always, and is back in soccer after an injury, playing with the team he has been part of since he was 8. And he will be assistant soccer coaching with the skills coach he began playing with at age 6!

Lala Bug began taking college classes in high school and chose to continue, selecting math, pattern draping, and fashion sketching for this year, majoring in apparel design and merchandising. So far, we have been impressed with the program, the staff, and the disabled student services, and feel lucky to have a solid niche program so close to home. She has continued building skills and making beautiful items (knits, fashion, books, and more) and I am working with her on her small business and entrepreneurial goals. She is also mountain and road biking. 

That is our little nutshell as we propel into this learning year!

 

graduation

 

Lala Bug has been learning at home since mid-way through 2nd grade, 8 years old. In our homeschool (and let me emphasize that every homeschool is different for so many reasons, most importantly because every human and family is different), we stuck with 'grade levels,' because, for the most part, we homeschooled with the support of charter schools. (Technically, this means that our kids have been public schooled students of the charter schools, and have always been had assignments, accountability, testing, etc.) This spring, Lala Bug completed 12th grade, high school. 

We have been UsSchoolers (once I settled in and let go) and Lala Bug has been loathe to make any sort of 'deal' out of graduating, but as homeschoolers, her education has been my education and it feels like something I/we need to celebrate. I am sharing here, since this has been my space and my record of quite a long (blink!) journey. I have been blogging for over 15 years, so have captured a lot. She graduated with all the things educators worry about (high GPA, plenty of credits, well rounded), yes, but what has mattered far more to us has been helping our kids find passion, direction, interest in learning, self-advocacy, and more. She has been dual-enrolled in an apparel design and merchandising program and has declared that as her major. She'll continue living at home and receiving support as needed, so...grade 13?

So proud of this human who has (and will always have to) overcome a tremendous number of challenges, will always have to work with her differences in a neurotypical world.

homeschool 2022-2023

 

2022 has been such a year of change (my word for the year)! This year, our family outgrew our beloved K-8 charter school. (And our teacher retired...We always told her she could not retire until Brown Mouse graduated! 😘) We went through the process of applying to, visiting, and considering in-person high schools for Brown Mouse. Just as happened with Lala Bug as she moved into 9th grade, it was I who wanted to pursue exploring school and the kids who wanted to continue homeschooling. So...we are still homeschooling and still with a homeschool-supporting charter school, although this charter has a whole different vibe and is not the center of our community. 

This year we have a kiddo in 12th grade (part 1) and one in 9th grade. Two high schoolers! (And a tag-along doggo, who makes the hard stuff more bearable.) Both kids have neuro-differences, but completely different ones! They keep us fresh and creative with how we approach things and it leads to many conversations and lifestyle pivots as we try to address, support, encourage, and grow as individuals and as a family.

Our 12th grader is working through "course work" for Life Skills, language/culture, World Geography, English, Art, and a community college course that covers history and fashion. She will be doing Health and perhaps another community college class during winter/spring. Her neuro-differences means that we work with her to keep the demands and expectations light and in balance with physical activity and her need to counter sensory overwhelm.

Our 9th grader is working through "course work" for Life Skills, World Geography, Biology, Algebra 1, English, and Art. He will be doing Health during winter/spring. He does a lot of tinkering on bikes and remote control cars and we were hoping for a bike mechanics internship, but he is on the very young age for the program, so it might not work out (yet). His learning differences have him working with a specialist weekly and may have us returning to occupational therapy (OT). OT might be the most fun therapy option out there for quirky kids, because it tends to be hands-on and physical!

Both kids are mountain biking and Brown Mouse is also playing soccer this fall. Both kids are signed up for 4-H. Brown Mouse is very reluctant. I previously told him he could have the choice this year, but I am now pushing for him to participate, because our club leaders have been working hard to try to provide more to engage the teens. (Our club lost a lot of members during the pandemic and many members are younger). Also, I am leading an outdoor project and it is his sister's final year. I think this year might be our family's last in 4-H.

Resources we are using and already enjoying and/or simply appreciating include: Guest Hollow's World Geography; Blog, She Wrote's Microscopic Marvels; ck12 online flexbooks for Biology; CTCMath; Write Shop; edX (massive online course - MOOC), and various other resources for...everything!

We are off to a good start, for which I am grateful, and hope your year has begun well, too!

2021-2022 home learning

I kept thinking I would come and post about our school year at some point after posting about the Caldor fire in the mountains, but I never did. The clock kept ticking, tomorrows kept coming and going and here we are. I am writing this a chunk of the way into the 2021-2022 school year (winter break!), but I might post it to the appropriate time period (Aug/Sept 2021), just for my own chronological documentation! I am pretty sure no one reads this blog anymore. (Who even blogs anymore?!) 

(Additional update, summer 2022, school year complete; I never did post this during winter break with a current or August publish date, so I am doing so now, with no edits to what I wrote in December/January. Just the way the school year rolled!)

Before writing this, I went back and read last year's start-of-year post. 2021 proved to be much harder than 2020 for us. It could be the length of the pandemic by this point, growing changing teens in isolation, the strain of tensions and strife in our country, all of the above, and more. But we took a full-on, desperate break from schooling over the summer. We crawled to the finish line of the 2020-2021 school year and I didn't even manage to celebrate the start of summer for or with the kids. 

There was quite a bit of reluctance to begin this 2021-2022 school year. Anxiety and stress were very high, showing up to things was difficult, but there were activities to show up to for the first time in months (over a year!). Also significant for us is that this is Brown Mouse's (and therefore our family's) last year with our beloved homeschool charter. For these and other reasons, we did a slow entry into the school year, and looking back, I refer to the first few months as "fun fall." Basically, we had been socially isolated so long, that if an activity was happening that a kiddo wanted to do, we tried to say yes. We put the priority on social and mental health and growth. It was slow going for Brown Mouse, not the kiddo we had expected to have a difficult time, but by mid-October, he was in a better place and a healthier groove, and I would say that both kids are thriving more now.

This year we have an 8th grader and 11th grader! Both my kiddos have learning differences, both have anxiety, and one was finally confirmed as Autistic (with PDA) this year. These differences deeply affect and shape their educations, our family, and their days.

I have been trying to hang onto Together Time, but it is hit or miss. This is the only piece of our intentional homeschooling that we still do all together and I try and bring content, conversation, books, and games that fill gaps and are short and sweet. One kiddo has really been struggling with auditory overwhelm, which is the primary reason it is hit or miss.

This autumn, our 8th grader got to take an ecosystems science class (in person, outside) with his charter, followed by an incredible series of field trips that included Lala Bug and me. The staff quickly noted how much the (small group of) middle schoolers were struggling post/mid pandemic, and have since also instituted a weekly middle schooler game time. At home, we have been working together through math and writing/language arts most especially. Science and history are easier to touch on naturally in our homeschool. Moving into winter/spring, he has again (4th year for him) joined the Shakespeare class. The students will be performing A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Club soccer resumed this fall and Brown Mouse was thrilled to participate. What we didn't anticipate, however, was how much pain he would experience running the full sized fields after such an epic growth spurt (8+ inches), so we paired soccer with physical therapy. Shortly after soccer season wrapped up, he very happily began mountain biking club, which will roll for the next 5+ months. (Both kids have been mountain bikers for a few years, really ramping it up during the pandemic.) Biking and bike mechanics are his primary passions, so he's a happy kid.

(Resources for him include; ALEKS, All About Spelling, Brave Writer, Write Shop, and others.)

Lala Bug didn't return to club soccer, but she did return to ballet since it resumed in-person. She danced all fall and is continuing to do so, adding club mountain biking for winter/spring. (Unfortunately for me and scheduling, the kids are in different biking clubs.)

For 11th grade, Lala Bug is tackling Algebra II, World History, English, and Italian. In the fall, she also had Psychology on her learning plans and for winter/spring, she's studying Astronomy/Rocket Science. And always, she gets credit for art, which, for her, is sewing, knitting, fashion design, pattern writing, pattern drafting, and more. She is getting more and more skilled and it likely to pursue these passions beyond high school. 

(Resources for her include: Khan Academy, Write Shop, edX MOOC, Mr. D Math, Crash Course, and more.) 

Both kids are also participating in a couple projects in 4-H; hiking and an environmental stewardship project.

I am trying to stay on top of providing resources, encouragement, teaching life skills, supporting mental health, and all the things, but I am also gently beginning to consider what I want to be when I grow up and retire from home educating these kiddos.

 

brown mouse

 

 

Brown Mouse, today is your day of all days. Your humor and dimpled smile bring joy daily. I don’t take you or that feeling for granted. You’re my baby, like the engine at the back, pushing me forward through this Mama gig. Kiddo, no-one will recognize you when we can be in community again! You have grown so much this year that this is the last birthday (likely the last month!) during which I am still (slightly) taller than you are. Thank you for being your smart, kind, playful, and humorous self, wrapped in a mischievously dimple-smiled package!

holiday cheer with a countdown

 

Well 2020 certainly is winding down in a different way than expected when it began, isn't it? 

Some mama friends and I were brainstorming ways to add a little spark within our own families and spread cheer to family and friends. One of the ideas I shared is the countdown that my little family has done every December for years. 

We string numbered baby socks (but it could be anything...envelopes, a single stocking, a small basket, a stuffed animal's lap, etc.) along a strand of fairy lights for the entire month of December, through January 1 (not just through December 24/Advent, so this works for everyone, not just celebrants of Christmas, and prevents so much holiday letdown).

Each night, I put a slip of paper into the sock for the next day. Each paper slip has a message on it with an activity, craft, food, treat, outing, service, etc. for that day. Tucking the slip in the night before allows me to decide what will work for our plans and moods the following day (rather than trying to plan the entire month in advance). My kids take turns pulling out the slip.

Here are links to what we did the previous few of years; 2019, 2018, 2017.

Below is a list of ideas of things you could do for your own countdown. My own list is more specific to where we live, so I tried to generalize some of our activities for the list below. Add your own! We are coastal, so I don't have things like "build a snow creature" on our list, but you could add anything like this and skip the things below that don't apply to your family. We clearly celebrate Christmas, a little Hanukkah, and Solstice, but you could add Kwanzaa or another celebration. Also, I haven't deleted anything from my own list, so there are things that should apply for a range of ages, since my own kids are middle and high school now! (That also explains any repeats that might be on the list below!)

 

Get a Christmas tree today!

 

 

Go shopping for our ‘adopted’ family.

 

 

Make a Christmas gift or card.

 

 

Celebrate Christmas Eve. Open a present.

 

 

Happy St. Nicholas Day!

 

 

Bake cookies.

 

 

Decorate a gingerbread house.

 

 

Read a new holiday book together.

 

 

Winter Solstice! Have a lantern walk.

 

 

Winter Solstice! Celebrate light together.

 

 

Winter Solstice! Celebrate the light by keeping the power off after sun down. After sunset, use only candlelight, firelight, natural light.

 

 

Practice recorder, singing, piano, or flute. Play a Christmas carol.

 

 

Go on an outing with Grandparent(s).

 

 

Go to kid’s art studio.

 

 

Wrap a present.

 

 

Choose a toy or book we no longer need and donate it to a person in need.

 

 

Go to a Christmas party.

 

 

You deserve a treat! Ask Mamma for one!

 

 

Have a party!

 

 

Make a Christmas gift.

 

 

Care for our bird friends. Make a treat garland, clean out the chicken coop, and fill the feeders.

 

 

Go to the aquarium.

 

 

Choose a candy cane from the tree.

 

 

Draw a picture that shows what you are thankful for.

 

 

Craft with Dada.

 

 

Celebrate the season at a winter festival.

 

 

Give something to charity.

 

 

Craft today!

 

 

Have dinner in a restaurant.

 

 

Take out Christmas decorations!

 

 

Have an adventure or play date with friends.

 

 

Decorate the tree!

 

 

Merry Christmas! Buon Natale! Feliz Navidad!

 

 

Go to the winterland carousel.

 

 

Go to a holiday concert!

 

 

Change the nature table to celebrate the season.

 

 

Help a friend today!

 

 

Get out in nature!

 

 

Take a ferry ride today!

 

 

Hanukkah begins today. Light the menorah.

 

 

Go to a museum today.

 

 

Let’s do some holiday cooking or baking today!

 

 

Celebrate New Year’s Eve today.

 

 

Today is Boxing Day!

 

 

Make clove oranges today.

 

 

Pull out holiday books!

 

 

Write holiday cards for a stranger (elderly or military) to appreciate.

 

 

Write some thank you notes!

 

 

Enjoy a winter celebration from another culture and/or country.

 

 

Enjoy the lights on “Christmas Tree Lane.”  

 

 

See the hillside manger scene.

 

 

Send special mail to friends or family.

 

 

Make wool lambs.

 

 

Make corn husk angels.

 

 

Make papier mache bowls.

 

 

Make Swedish hearts.

 

 

String a popcorn garland

 

 

Make a pinecone garland.

 

 

Make paper snowflakes.

 

 

Make a lantern!

 

 

Make salt dough ornaments

 

 

Think of others today. What can you do for or say to someone else that would be especially kind?

 

 

Take care of our community. Do something kind and healthy, such as collect garbage, donate food, or volunteer.

 

 

Make walnut shell candles.

 

 

Winter crafting with our community today!

 

 

Make candles!

 

 

Make latkes and serve with applesauce.

 

 

Play dreidel!

 

 

Go get a doughnut treat!

 

 

It is time for Sparkle Stories’ audio Advent calendars!

 

 

Choose three (3) of your books to pass on to someone else. Now visit the library book store! Look for a new book for yourself and one to give as a gift.

 

 

Take a walk to a nearby store and pick out a holiday treat!

 

 

Make holiday cards!

 

 

Make a holiday gift!

 

 

Today is for the birds! Bird watch, make a bird treat, and fill the bird feeder.

 

 

Merry Making!

 

 

Treasure hunt! The first clue is:

 

 

See a holiday show today!

 

 

Practice recorder, singing, piano, drums, guitar, ukulele, or flute. Play a Christmas carol.

 

 

Decorate the exterior of the house!

 

 

Make kite paper stars.

 

 

Today is a neighborhood day! Deliver cards or treats to neighbors, pick up garbage, add (a) book(s) to the Little Library.

 

 

Bunny day! Scrub the hutch tray, brush her fur, clip her nails, give her fresh greens, and let her hop about!

 

 

Care for the garden. As needed; rake, weed, sweep, plant seeds, water, tend compost, and explore!

 

 

Have a carpet picnic and enjoy some bubbly to ring in the New Year!

 

 

Winter spiral walk tonight!

 

 

Winter candle light New Year’s wishing and star gazing tonight.

 

 

Light a candle tonight and make a wish or intention for the New Year.

 

 

Enjoy the winter sky tonight.

 

 

Buy a toy for Toys for Tots or another organization that helps children in need.

 

 

Go shopping for a child in need.

 

 

Read a favorite holiday book together.

 

 

Make “blessing bags” to hand out to those in need.

 

Make a collage (or vision board or dream garden) for the new year.

 

Decorate a little tree for your room!

 

Do a little holiday shopping today!

 

Head to the recycle/repurpose store. Can you find a gift or something to make into a gift?

 

 

Visit the lake today. What does it look like this winter? Nature study!

 

Happy New Year! How can you challenge yourself this year?

 

Make some bookmarks, then anonymously leave a stack at the library or in a ‘Little Library.’

 

It is time for Sparkle Stories’ 12 Days of Christmas stories!

 

Make some surprise goodies for friends today.

 

Treat-making day; toffee, hot chocolate spoons, and cookies?!

 

Movie day! Watch a holiday film and have a hearth fire (or candles in the fireplace).

 

Participate in the Christmas Bird Count (eBird) today!

 

 

 

a turn around the sun, hidden behind smoke

 

 

I love you, sweet girl. With every passing year, I realize we are born who we are and grow into ourselves. Thank you for being you, making me a Mama, and helping me grow into myself. I appreciate you so much, and as I reflect back on this past year, this crazy, surreal year, I see you have grown so much, each challenge and joy, more into yourself. I love that. 

What an odd, yet special birthday this year. As we hunkered down at home, unable to celebrate with family or friends inside because of a pandemic, or outside because of wildfire smoke and poor air quality, we ate good food (chosen by you!), ever grateful for the simple bounty we have. 

 

 

changing rhythms: homeschool 2020 - 2021

 

This spring and summer have been different (replace with your own adjective here). Even for those of us who have been fortunate enough to avoid COVD-19, even for homeschoolers, life has been twisted on its axis. All activities, travel, social opportunities, and more have been changed or canceled. Exacerbated by the pandemic, our country has had to face a forever-existing racial divide. This year has taught many of us to expect change, be flexible, new ways to relate to and understand each other, and to truly value all we are privileged to have.

And here we are, mid-August, the coming school year looming (that is what it feels like to me this year) upon us. In past years, I have had breaks from my kids (and they from me) in the summer, time to think, clean, organize, plan. I've started the year ready and enchanted. I haven't had that this year and here we are, with (home)school (year 9!) starting tomorrow. (It's Sunday afternoon as I write this.)

Why tomorrow if I am not ready?

We homeschool through a public charter school. Actually, this year, we are homeschooling through 2 charter schools, which is part of the reason I am feeling unprepared. Our son's (K-8) charter technically began last week, but I know the school and patterns well, felt informed, and was able to start preparing early. Our daughter got into a charter school for her high school school experience this year and I didn't have much information until a week or so ago. The bottom line is that, as of tomorrow, both charters have begun and Lala Bug has her first math class.

Our kids are learning all the time. I am accepting that, while I hold Waldorf Education in my heart and mind, our homeschool is more of an us-school experience now. I know, with that in mind, that we can dive in tomorrow and adjust to our new groove, our new rhythm, more slowly.

This year I have a 7th grader and 10th grader! Both my kiddos have learning differences and one is additionally differently wired. In addition to the school year starting, we will begin a more thorough evaluation for one kiddo and resume occupational therapy for the other.

We will start our days with Together Time, during which I read a shared book, we might watch CNN10, read poetry, have important conversations, or do other shared activities.

Our 7th grader will be taking several classes online with our charter. This is not how I want to approach schooling for either of my kids, but this is an atypical school year, we know the school and teachers well, they have been thoughtful about what will work for the kids, and since this is our main homeschool community, he will be with friends, even if not in person.

Brown Mouse will be starting the year slowly, adding up to math, a writing group, Constitution class, crpytography, Spanish (he expressed enthusiastic excitement about this one), and a Shakespeare book group (Julius Caesar). This is plenty, so science will be nature study and playful experimenting to start. Language Arts, for him, is a set selection of materials to address his learning differences.

Our 10th grader, based on how distance learning did and did not work for her in the spring, will take 2 classes online, with the live online portion being only an hour for each class; Geometry and American Government. For English, we will be reading texts of my choosing and pairing it with writing materials to help her build and feel more confident with her writing. Science is Chemistry. Her charter teacher approved our covering chemistry through fiber arts, with the support of texts, some kits, and her grandparents (a chemist and a former fiber artist). She is excited about that. I suspect much of the rest of her time will be spent dancing (although not in person!) and working on various fiber projects. She has switched from knitting to sewing with the warmth of late summer, but is prolific with both, as well as other crafts. She's got some goals in this area.

And me? I am working to not forget myself in the mix. I am trying to remember to lean into my strengths, not sacrifice myself (and my energy) for everyone else, and that, for me, means ongoing work around expectations, limits, and boundaries. What better to model for my growing kids this year?!

Wishing you well as we collectively launch into a strange new, current normal.