Discover

 Every year, since 2010, I have chosen a word of the year. Every year, I blog a little about it.

This year, not so much. I am posting the link to the post to my word for 2024, Open, and that starts a chain of links, backing up in time, where you can read more, if you so desire.

I am keeping it basic this year for this blog post, and am simply saying that my word for 2025 is

Discover

a gift from the sea: a which name? re-post

This post was first written and posted to my original blog, Which Name?, on July 22, 2010. I selected it to re-post now, in the midst of a conversation in a beloved mamas group about our need for alone, restorative time. One mama mentioned this book, I chimed in that I used to re-read it, and I remembered that I had blogged about it. Fourteen years ago(!) I was struck by its relevance and it is still relevant today. What does that mean about a mother's/woman's changing needs (or lack of change) over time? The time of our own lives, but also over the time since this book was written, nearly 70 years ago?

 

July 22, 2010

a gift from the sea

Summer brought a change in pace, activities, time, and energy this year. I've felt a bit pulled in multiple directions, feeling always "on" with my children, craving a vacation. Craving time alone.

I have always felt guilty with this need. After all, I am incredibly fortunate to be home with my children. There are days I send a very reluctant Mike off to work and I am reminded, again, what a gift he is giving me. Although they can be trying (I've given up attempting to keep my house clean this summer. I have been too busy on damage control), our children are also very sweet, are the best of friends, and I am blessed to have the time with them to truly know them.


But it can be tiring, giving of oneself to others without enough personal rejuvenation.

I have carved out time for creating, often with the kids, but I have had little time alone, to just sit and be. What time I have stolen (because truly, it feels as though I am taking time from someone else (my husband?) or something else (sleep, perhaps?) to make it so), I have been reading.

I have just finished A Gift from the Sea, by Anne Morrow Lindbergh.


I have always considered myself a mountain and forest girl first, despite growing up by the ocean, but in recent months, it has been the sea and sand I have been craving for rejuvenation.

I cannot express how perfect this book was for me to read at this time. Set by the ocean, with the ocean as the theme, Lindbergh discusses being a woman. Perhaps what amazed me most is that this book was written in 1955, yet still managed to touch so many pieces of my own life today. How poignantly history is woven into the now. It will probably always be this way in some way.

I want to share with you with some quotes from the book.


"…Today, more of us in America than anywhere else in the world have the luxury of choice between simplicity and complication of life. And for the most part, we, who could choose simplicity, choose complication.”

“Every person, especially every woman, should be alone sometime during the year, some part of each week, and each day. How revolutionary that sounds and how impossible of attainment. To many women, such a program seems quite out of reach.”

“Moon shell…You will remind me that I need to be alone for part of each year, even a week or a few days; and for part of each day, even for an hour or a few minutes in order to keep my core, my center, my island-quality. You will remind me that unless I keep the island-quality intact somewhere within me, I will have little to give my husband, my children, my friends or the world at large.”

“Nothing feeds the center more than creative work, even humble kinds like cooking and sewing. Baking bread, weaving cloth, putting up preserves, teaching and singing to children, must have been far more nourishing than being family chauffeur or shopping at super markets…”

“Evening is the time for conversation. Morning is for mental work…Afternoon is for physical tasks, the out-of-door jobs. But evening is the time for sharing, for communication.”

“What release to write so that one forgets oneself, forgets one’s companion, forgets where one is or what one is going to do next…”

“We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror at its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life, as in love, is in growth, in fluidity – in freedom…”

“…each cycle of the tide is valid; each cycle of the wave is valid; each cycle of a relationship is valid.”

“My life…lacks this quality of significance because there is so little empty space. The space is scribbled on; the time has been filled. There are so few empty pages in my engagement pad, or empty hours in the day, or empty rooms in my life in which to stand alone and find myself….it is not merely the trivial that clutters our lives, but the important as well.”

With those words of wisdom, written 55 years ago and still so poignant for me today, I am stepping offline to spend some time at my "island." Each year since I was an infant, my family has spent part of the summer up in the mountains at a lakeside cabin, accessible by boat or foot only, with no power or hot water.

This summer, our lake time begins tomorrow. My mind, body, and soul cannot wait. While not alone, in the lack of space of the small cabin, there is somehow much more space being set in nature, and I am craving that now.

Have a wonderful week. I have some posts scheduled to appear in this space, but I won't be back with you all for a week and a half or so. Be well...

 

open 2024

 

2024 marks my 15th year of choosing a word for the year ahead. (My first word was Calm in 2010.)

Last year, I chose three words; strengthen, possibilities, and purpose. I had a hard time selecting one and I thought the three complimented each other, but that didn't work for me. I forgot my words and kept returning to older words when in meditation.

 

This year, my word is Open. I don't think it is the most exciting word, but it kept coming to me as we closed out 2023, and even a perusal through the thesaurus brought me back to Open. It is simple and I like simple. 

In 2024, I want to be Open to possibilities, growth, opportunities, growth, open spaces, bravery, and being open-minded.

This year, I have a beautiful new notebook to use, handmade by Lala Bug, complete with a handmade book cover, almost entirely from recycled materials. Something special. Wishing you well in 2024.

 

2023

Note: I wrote this on New Year's Eve morning, and that is when I am scheduling this to appear as posted, however several days have passed, and, in actuality, it is January 7 today. Since writing this, our area/state has been hit with a series of serious storms, causing significant damage and some loss of life. I don't want to be insensitive to that or to growing concerns about additional storms coming, but I am going to let this post as it was when I wrote it.

 

I am in our dim, early morning kitchen, with a soft, faux lantern on, sitting next to the window in a chair covered with a soft sheepskin (bought for me when I was about 12), listening to the sound of the rain. It is incredibly soothing. Deep in drought, it's filling my soul just a little bit, to hear the rain splatter, although we are anticipating a storm here in our area. 

We've come upon December 31st in a bit of a blink. Usually, I have been mentally toying around with and considering words for the year ahead for a couple of weeks, but this year, it has just been a couple of days. 

For 2022, my word has been Change, and it has been so appropriate. When Brown Mouse graduated from our homeschool charter, we all moved on from that community. M experienced employment change and rediscovering of self (much to the benefit of his health and our family connection). We are now book-ending high school. We experienced our first year with Biscuit dog. Mountain biking moved from something we enjoyed to a primary focus. Lala Bug said farewell (for now) to her long time dance studio. Lots of change.

For 2023, I find I can't limit myself to one word and I am having trouble choosing. Part of me wants to simply say my word for the year is Me. While I know I need to give more attention to myself in a number of ways, the word doesn't feel broad enough to embody how I want to approach the year. To start 2023, I have chosen Strengthen as my primary word. I want to strengthen my self-care, my boundaries, our rhythms, our long-term goals, my connections, etc. I know more Change is coming, though, and with the desire to Strengthen comes a need for an openness to Possibilities and I have a growing desire for Purpose. (Purpose was the first word that came to me, of these three, and I find I am resisting it, which tells me that is all the more reason to explore that a little more.) 

Choosing a word has worked for me for years now (since 2010), instead of setting resolutions. A word is a mental anchor for me. It feels simple and broad enough for those times my mind is getting away from me. I am a deep thinker and feeler, so a word (or, in this case, three words) to meditate on can help me to keep moving forward.

Wishing you all the best in 2023.

change/brave

My posts are getting fewer and further between! (I see that I never posted about our learning year this fall. I might come back and remedy that at some point.) 

 

Every year since 2010, I have chosen a word for the year. Each year, mentally coming back to the word has been a helpful anchor. Except 2021. My word for 2021 was Thrive, but it was a Survive year. It has been a rough year with much growth and yet much to keep us stuck.

As always, a dictionary of words were options for 2022 - there are so many good words in multiple languages - but I think I have to choose the word Change. And this year, in choosing Change, I have to pair it with Brave, because change is really hard for me, hard for others in my family, but I feel deeply that we need to embrace it, currently, and that takes bravery.

What words, thoughts, goals, etc. are you striving for in 2022?

thrive

 

 

2020 has been a monumental year of unexpected challenges, one after another, all around the globe. 

Each year, since 2010, I have chosen a word of the year, and for 2020, it was the word Light. (Re-reading my post and the links within it was incredibly meditative for me.) 

When I choose a word for the year, it becomes an anchor for me, so even when I am not doing enough of anything else to care well for myself, I can think of the word and consider what I envisioned when I selected it.

I have a list of possible words for 2021...really good ones, like resilience (Lala Bug's urging) and connection, but the word thrive keeps coming back to my mind.

2020 has been a year during which I have wrestled with feelings of gratitude, joy, appreciation, privilege, struggle, overwhelm, frustration, desperation, anxiety, and guilt, all in one tangled mess. I have felt as though we are surviving; working hard to stay physically healthy, stay safe (in so many versions of the word), stay employed, stay connected, all while being mindful of the mental and emotional health toll this is all taking, up and down all day, everyday now. I feel as if I am "on" 24/7, as though I am the lighthouse for my family, but my light is unstable.

I want to Thrive, so that is the word I am choosing for 2021. 

I hope you, too, thrive, in 2021 and I hope you found some glimmers of light (some silver linings) in 2020. Namaste.

light - an autumn check-in

 

I hesitated using this photo. It represents so much for me; nature, seasonal change, hope, and light. But it was one beautiful day, tucked into weeks of unprecedented wildfire smoke and poor air, trapping us inside. It feels misrepresentative.

 

I have been missing from this space for quite some time. The general changes of life in the past year or so, coupled with the pandemic, have me moving further inward. But I have been thinking a lot about my word for 2020, Light, and today, as I folded some laundry, I had a sudden urge to come and post. I don't really have collected thoughts to share, but perhaps I am not alone, as my mind wanders through a chain reaction of emotions and awareness of a need for time to process. Time that is difficult to carve out these days, despite seemingly having lots of time. (We, as parents, have taken on every role, all at once. Even those of us who homeschooled before are not experiencing life in the same way. Our spaces are small and so compactly shared right now. Those of us with high needs children are left without supports we once had. Our children don't have time with mentors they adore. And more. It is hard.)

When I chose the word Light, it was almost a transitional word for me, because the other word I considered was Change. I didn't feel ready to do the inner work involved, yet, with the word Change, but I guess Mother Earth is having a laugh on me, because this year has been all about Change. But it has also been about Light. When I chose Light, the other word that paired with it in my mind was Namaste, which I have always known to mean "the good and the light in me, sees and honors the good and the light in you." 

Isn't this a year during which we have needed to continue to see the good in others and continue to have to reach toward, lean into, walk toward light, positivity, and hope?

There has been so much darkness this year. A pandemic, many deaths as a result, chronic after-effects for many who have survived, economic pain and instability, and climate disasters. Here where I live, 4 million acres of beautiful land, burned in wildfires, many killed, homes lost, and many more displaced. It keeps coming. It is the sensation of being knocked down, bruised up, and dragging ourselves up again to keep going. It is a year of grieving so much. I am not willing to give up on 2020 yet. There are too many holidays, birthdays, achievements, and goals to be celebrated and met.

With light and hope,

N

light

I have thought a lot about how 2019 felt for me, how I want 2020 to feel, and I have thought about a lot of different words to hold in my mind and heart for 2020. 2019 was a year of a lot of change. Not the sort of change I could write about in our holiday newsletter, but changes of big and small kinds more intimate to our little family. It also held the kind of small changes that pave the way for bigger changes. I worked hard to be present through it all.

Oddly enough, I wrote part of a post about change in April, which I never posted. It is here, below.

I have been thinking about feeling behind, feeling stuck, progress, and change a lot this past year or so. 

As part of our read-aloud, we read poetry. When I read this some months ago, it held in my mind. It reminded me of the Rumi poem, A Guest House, and also of the quote by L.R. Knost (which is at the top of my homeschool planning/prepping Evernote pages). For some reason, this poem left me feeling as though the uphill climb, the sense of treading water, is normal, and there is company and care in each step.

Up-Hill

By Christina Rossetti

Does the road wind up-hill all the way?

   Yes, to the very end.

Will the day’s journey take the whole long day?

   From morn to night, my friend.

But is there for the night a resting-place?

   A roof for when the slow dark hours begin.

May not the darkness hide it from my face?

   You cannot miss that inn.

Shall I meet other wayfarers at night?

   Those who have gone before.

Then must I knock, or call when just in sight?

   They will not keep you standing at that door.

Shall I find comfort, travel-sore and weak?

   Of labour you shall find the sum.

Will there be beds for me and all who seek?

   Yea, beds for all who come.

I think I am mentally a little resistant to choosing the word change because it feels forced and rushed and, if I am honest, I am not fully ready for some of the bigger changes that I know are inevitably coming. And so, I am mulling on change, but I am giving space around this word, this idea, and allowing my anchor word for 2020 to be something a little gentler, but equally important and certainly related and relevant in my world right now.

My word for 2020 is light. This word can apply to so many parts of my life right now, particularly as a melancholic, sentimental, deep-thinker and feeler. I look forward into 2020, a new decade, and I see a lot going on for our family, and I hope that holding this word close will help remind me to keep things simple, bright, and positive, if I am able. It was these images I had in mind, when I renamed my blog, Creative. Light. Less. several years ago. I want to move lightly on this earth, live lighter (less clutter, less spending), lighten my mood, my heart, my thinking. I imagine the light of a candle when my world feels dark, the light of a camp or hearth fire when my world feels cold.

One of the other words I considered was namaste, which I first learned to roughly mean "the good and the light in me sees and honors the good and the light in you." I think this imagery is so powerful and beautiful. There is light again. I want to pay attention to the light in others.

2019 was my 10th year of choosing a word for my head and heart. My guiding  words so far have been calm (2010), nourish (2011), hope (2012), renewal (2013), treasure (2014), joy (2015), potato (really, humor and laughter...potato was a family joke, 2016), harmony (2017), happy (with expectations and boundaries being the foundation, 2018), and present (being present in the moment and giving presents of restorative self-care to myself, 2019). 

Each of these words holds meaning and memories for me, which brings both a smile to my face and tears to my eyes.

I wish you all light, love, peace, and simplicity as we shift into a whole new decade.

restorative self-care

I have been thinking A LOT about self-care in recent weeks. The word is used a lot in the social circles I move in, but it had lost a lot of meaning for me. Self-care, self-centered, self-indulgence, and restorative self-care were all getting muddled for me and I wasn't doing any of it well.

What I am trying to focus on these days is restorative self-care. Big or little activities I am doing thoughtfully, intentionally, mindfully to care for my body, heart, and soul in a way that I enjoy and makes me feel a little restored, without guilt.

Restorative self-care is different, for me, than self-care that might include an activity that is practicing care, but doesn't feel refueling or enjoyable, such as going to the doctor. It can include treats of various kinds, but that would fall, first, into self-indulgence.

If I am missing out on space and time to practice restorative self-care, I tend to feel a self-centered lacking. This manifests, for me, in resentful words and behavior that I regret later, and more self-indulgence than self-care. I start to feel guilty, very much aware that many of my challenges are what my family calls 'first world problems,' and while that is not said to diminish the difficulties that are truly needing attention, it does help me re-establish where I have lost my boundaries and...self-care!

Here are some small ways that I am caring for myself in a restorative way (in no particular order, except sleep comes first). These are small, doable things during this season of life that has us on-the-go far too much right now. None of them take much time or money. While I am realizing some changes need to be made in our schedule (and definitely my attitude about it), I am starting with making some shifts for myself to help me manage the overwhelm I am feeling.

Restorative Self-care Activities:

• Prioritizing sleep.
• A hot shower (For some, a bubble bath. For me, a hot shower at night after the kids are in bed.)
• Setting a morning intention.
• Writing down 3+ things I am grateful for each night.
• Getting outside! Nature is the most incredible balm.
• A hot compress on my eyes (I am prone to sties under stress and this forces me to sit in a favorite chair, close my eyes, and rest for 5 minutes.)
• Meditation. (I love the free Insight Timer app. It has something for everyone.)
• Reading a "slush" book before sleep (This is a non-heady book for pleasure.)
• Exercise, even if only 20 minutes
• Yoga (I am not a "yoga person," but Yoga with Adriene for 15 minutes leaves my body feeling really good.)
• Art (I am no artist, but putting colors on paper, taking some satisfying photos, or making something with my hands in a creative ways, feels positive.)
• Hugging myself, squeezing my shoulders, and speaking positive words to myself in the mirror.
• Crying. Yes, really. When things feel overwhelming, a good cry is a huge release for me.
• Journaling. (I am a highly sensitive introvert, so getting it out helps a lot.)
• Sharing the burden...talking with my husband, close family member, or friend all help. Sometimes in sharing, I unintentionally receive help I didn't realize I needed or simply get support that helps me let go of a few worries.
• Sitting outside for a few minutes with a cup of tea.
• If I have one-on-one connection daily with each of my people, I feel calmer and less guilty about needing to carve time for myself.
• 3 deep breaths. I cannot remember where I read about these names for it, but this type of breathing is instantly calming for me. "Mint tea," "Hot cocoa," or as my daughter calls them "Lavender and Dandelion" breaths. Breathe deeply in through the nose, hold the breath, then exhale, blowing out of the mouth, as if you are smelling your drink or flower, then blowing on it to cool it or make a wish. Do this 3 times. On breath one, just focus on the breathing. One breath 2, stretch and expand your body. (We tend to get tight and contract when stressed.) On breath 3, speak an intention or single most important thing for right now. (This 3 breath focus came from an episode of the TiLT Parenting Podcast, which I highly recommend, especially if you have quirky kiddos.)
• More of what feels good to my body (water, for example) and less of what doesn't (chocolate, for example...that is a self-indulgence).

There are certainly other small things that one could do. Some people like to give themselves a mani- or pedicure, have a personal dance party, or play a game of solitaire. Do what works for you. The list above works for me and it does not include screen use of any kind, which is my preference for restorative self-care.

Be well!

Inner Work, Faith, and Self-care

 Beauty grows from hard things. 

(Penstemon newberryi growing from a crack in a mass of granite.)

When I began diving into Waldorf with intention, about 8 years ago, the words 'inner work' kept coming up. At the time, I was a bit hesitant to ask, 'what does that mean?!'

During that time, what I was reading and hearing generally had religious foundations. The advice "Pray about it" and "Get down on your knees" was offered freely. As a spiritual, but secular person, these suggestions baffled me and slowed my progress. I could not relate to the easy faith that sharing with God would bring peace, because God would provide. I do not believe in a God in this way and I do not have that free trust that there is someone bigger than me, ready to catch me and lead the way.

Somewhere along way, I began to understand inner work as a catch-phrase for slowing down, getting quiet in my mind, admitting where I needed to let go and ask for help (even if only to myself), and taking ownership for my role in all aspects of my life and all relationships in my life. This 'inner work' seems to mean quiet self-recognition, ownership-of-self, and any actions taken to accept and move forward. For some, it includes prayer. For me, it includes meditation, thoughtfulness, and intentionality. It might include crying as a release and I may need to write freely to achieve a place of mental peace.  Inner work can be hard and painful and vulnerable. It can be freeing and calming. For me, it is soul-care and needs to be followed with self-care and the ingestion of content or performance of any activity to help me help heal and grow myself, such as listening to music, reading poetry, doing yoga, writing, doing an art or crafting, reading, etc.

I learned that once I understood myself more, I could better define what inner work meant for me, and over the years, my inner work and self-care have changed due to the circumstances in my life even more than they have changed due to knowing myself better.

I am a highly sensitive, introverted woman, who is married to an amazing man who has a long commute (affecting his own self-care and our family schedule and dynamics) and a homeschool parent to two children, one of whom has a variety of differences and higher needs. These aren't the only factors that define me, but they the the biggest factors in defining my ability to do healthy work on myself and care for myself.

I need to start from a place of consistent alone time, preferably at home. This provides the well from which I draw, and without that, even daily small doses of self-care aren't enough and I have trouble letting go into that place of true quiet. I end up "thinking about my need to think about things."

This past year, particularly since winter break, our family patterns and personal schedules have changed and shifted a bit, making it nearly impossible for me to at home, alone (or seemingly alone with others asleep). I have been working to adjust and accommodate. This past year has been one of growth, exploration, and change in so many ways.

Since we homeschool, summer is a chance for kids to attend day camp, giving us all a break from one another and me some much needed alone time. This summer, because of travel and classes, the kids are doing just one week of camp and that is wrapping up now. I could use one more day but the kids felt done by the end of yesterday.

I made a list of things I needed and wanted to accomplish this week. I tried to be realistic and also to make sure there were not just productive items, but true self-care on the list. I am pleased with how much I marked off the list! Despite this, I can see how depleted I have gotten simply because it took me until day 4 to really start to let go, cry, get a little quiet in my mind, and begin to work through the many things I have mentally set aside. As soon as I do, healing, decisions, and faith in myself begin, and joy and beauty have a chance to sprout.

What do inner work, soul-care, and self-care look like for you?

June and July 2019

 

June brings solstice summer sun

Warmth and light for everyone.

 

We spend July in mountains high.

Canoe, hike, and swim; The days fly by. 

~Nicola 

 

Dates of Interest:

June 16: Father's Day

June 21: Summer Solstice

July 4: United States' Independence Day


Homeschooling:

We wrapped up the year well. We didn't get to all at hoped to and planned for. Not even close. But we also had some important health care appointments series that interrupted our flow substantially.

We usually take the summertime off. This year, our summer break is shorter and we will be enjoying some space and time, but we will also be doing some intentional learning. Our summer is actually far more scheduled (not necessarily full, just mapped out) than usual.

Intentional learning includes some language arts and some math for both kids. In addition, Lala Bug has asked to learn some coding. This isn't something she is normally interested in, but she has idea in mind that this would help with. I love this for so very many reasons! Also, Shakespeare is much loved in this house and there are opportunities around to see local performances, which we plan to take advantage of.

And, of course, I need to spend some time planning. This coming year will look very different, but I don't quite know yet how it will be different. We continue to try and be mindful of where our kids are socially, emotionally, developmentally, and academically, regardless of their chronological age. We are trying to respect their desires, limits, and interests, while keeping the broader view of what they might need for college and beyond. All that feels a bit fuzzy for my planning right now.

Self-care:


Self-care this summer will mean me getting some time alone, clearing some of our spaces (this gives me greater inner calm), and reading some books. We will be adventuring and exploring this summer, which is something I deeply need. I need to "get away," even if we don't travel and this just means exploring new and much-loved places nearby.

Parenting:


Our kids need some down time, nature time, and one-on-one this summer! There are plans for them to get all of that. I continue to work on boundary setting and holding and we are being mindful to pour on more positive compliments and observations when appropriate. We have one kiddo who has a hard time accepting supportive criticism, corrections, and also compliments. All of these help us grow when when they are intended in a caring way.

Home life:

We have some major work to do this summer...decluttering, room shuffling, and we need a new roof (and ceiling repairs from where the roof leaked)!



I am combining June and July, because one way in which I am caring for myself this summer is not setting myself up to feel obliged to be online! Have a joyful summer.

May 2019

May brings sun and sandy beach swims,

Before the summer fog rolls in. 

~Nicola

Dates of Interest:

May 1: May Day. We make and deliver anonymous May Day bouquets. (Above photo.)

May 12: Mother's Day

May 27: Memorial Day

May 30: Last day of school (for our charter and I think us, too, this year. Lala Bug graduates our charter this year. Lots of feelings!)


Homeschooling:

April was very off-kilter with, and following, testing. Our one consistent piece through the month was an Outschool math class both kids did and enjoyed. At the end of the month and heading into the beginning of May, our literature choice is Esperanza Rising, which fits in beautifully with our other studies of the Depression (and recovery, and World War II) time period and is poignant for us as Californians. It is a wonderful book!

Fifth Grader: We are continuing with our language arts (Brave Writer and REWARDS) and math (Teaching Textbooks and Key To series), but this month I want to be heavy on nature/botany for Brown Mouse.

Eight Grader: We are continuing with language arts (Brave Writer and one-on-one support from our charter) and math (Khan Academy and Key To series). This month I want to end with a focus on business and entrepreneurship with Lala Bug.

High school...we have a general plan in place now (link to post). Now, Lala Bug and I will begin to shape what her homeschool courses will be and I will dive a little deeper into making sure we are covering what we need to for all of high school, from the very beginning.

Self-care:

If nothing else this month, I am feeling a deep need for some alone time. The list of things I really want to do that would help fuel me seems rather simple; keep increasing my morning journal and exercise time back to what it was, drink more water, finish a couple books I am dragging through, and resume meditating and the anti-inflammatory diet. Ha! That is quite a lot, really.

Parenting:

M and I have gotten a little more time to focus on us, which is good. We can feel and see the growth, positive and challenging, in both our kids, and we are having to discuss and coordinate new limits within our parenting. I am working on not feeling guilty when setting a limit or frazzled when there is push-back to the limit. This is all normal and good.

Home life:

Usually, I am an autumn-cleaning rather than a spring-cleaning type of person, but I can feel my highly sensitive self is deeply needing to clear and clean. I know this won't likely be my focus until school and soccer season are done, but a little here and a little there helps!

Crafting:
Endless projects here...new baby and end of school year gifts being made, house and yard projects being worked, science crafts being done, and long abandoned projects being picked up and finished!

Have a lovely May!

(This post was inspired by Carrie of The Parenting Passageway.)

April 2019

April brings the flaming weeds,

as gold bursts from California Poppy seeds. 

~Nicola

Dates of Interest:

As a family that homeschools through a charter school, this month our kids participate in various forms of testing. In addition, we technically have a spring break, so our April schedule and activities will be a little different than usual.

April is Poetry Month!

April 15: Tax Day

April 21: Easter

April 22: Earth Day


Homeschooling:

Moving out of March, we have really been in an amazing homeschooling groove. I know this will shift this month because of testing, but I am really okay with that, because I am needing a respite from the regular "to dos" of homeschooling as I really tackle (and draw the kids into) some home clear out and rearrangement tasks. While the kids are testing, I will be working on our home financial management and taxes, so this has been part of our learning conversation.

Both kids are in an online class that pairs design concepts (something they are both interested in, in different ways) and math. So far, it has been a hit.

Fifth Grader: Not too much change, although I need to bring in more science, his love.  He is using Teaching Textbooks and Key To workbooks for math and we are using games to review, although between testing and the online class, we may make little progress. We are definitely not going to finish the Teaching Textbooks lessons by year-end. We are continuing to use REWARDS to support his progress with language arts differences and using Brave Writer Arrow guides for literature and language arts.

Eight Grader: She has been working through Khan Academy and Key To workbooks for math (although we will likely cover less of these with the online class and testing). A success has been discovering she really enjoys the math more on a pad with a rubber tipped pen. She is getting a small amount of outside support for language arts and math and is also doing the Brave Writer Arrow guides with us. She blurted out the other day "We don't do enough history!" That's her love, so we will do a little more this month.

We have been narrowing down options for high school next year and I suspect will feel settled in a decision by the end of the month. At the very least, the most stressful aspects feel as though they are behind us and some very good family and one on one parent-parent and parent-child conversations have happened now.

Self-care:

My priority has been sleep and personal reading. I have done well with these, but I still haven't been sleeping all that well. While I have been less successful at consistently being up before my kids (Lala Bug rises quite early these days) and morning exercise, we have been great at getting out into nature for hikes as a family on the weekend, and this really fuels all of us. My goals this month is to take a few minutes daily to write and/or meditate to process all that has been happening and also to finish another book. (I am reading several at once.) I would also like to re-kindle the challenge of a photo a day.

Parenting:

Parenting, as always, is about connection, empathy, play, limits, listening, and love. I am working on talking less and listening more. Patience, love, and playfulness are what is needed right now with the kids, as well as encouraging loving kindness and empathy between siblings. I think mostly, M and I really need to pour some time and care into our relationship. Spouse and self can be the last to receive care when kids, homeschooling, work, commute, home repairs, etc. feel so dominant.

Home life:

We are making more progress on clearing, cleaning, organizing, and re-arranging. We have continued to have a lot of rain and have had pauses as a result. The fence is now down, we need to clear out fence debris, clean up outside, and plant new seedlings. We need to finish clearing out a room and have the flooring we selected installed. I hope we can do this by the end of the month. I have a number of items to donate or sell to make space we desperately need.

Crafting:
So much creating has been happening here, especially building and sewing! I foresee it continuing, which is lovely.

Happy April! Share what is happening in your life!

(This post was inspired by Carrie of The Parenting Passageway.)

March 2019

March brings our 'coastal snow,'

as flowers bloom and white petals blow. 

~Nicola

Dates of Interest:

March is the month dedicated to celebration of women. We will be reading extra stories of strong and unique women during read-aloud.

March 8: International Women's Day

March 17: St. Patrick's Day

March 20: Shakespeare performances day in our world

March 21: Holi

Homeschooling:

Homeschooling in a little smoother as we begin this month. We are through the application process with our oldest for high schools and are now waiting, talking, and making decisions. I had not anticipated how much stress and anxiety my girl would experience from participating in this process. Change is inevitable and hard.

For both kids we are going to shifting back into using Brave Writer Arrow or Boomerang guides paired with literature. We had taken a break while steeped in Shakespeare.

Fifth Grader: Not much has changed since last month's post! He is working on weekly homework for his Exercise Physiology class, as well as his Globe Theatre project for his Shakespeare class. He is using Teaching Textbooks and Key To workbooks for math and we are using games to review. We are continuing to use REWARDS to support his progress with language arts differences.

Eight Grader: She just completed her Shakespeare project and is working on memorizing lines so she can be an understudy for a couple of other characters, if necessary. She has been working through Khan Academy and Key To workbooks for math and she is getting a small amount of outside support for language arts and math.

Self-care:

I have been tired. My priority has been climbing into bed at a reasonable time and reading a little before sleep. There are so many other self-care things I want to be doing, and if I am honest, I feel like I deserve. If I stop and consider, there are little things I am doing...a hot shower (alone for 5 minutes of thinking and meditation), light exercise, listening to podcasts, and nature time, among others, but it is the time I have alone that is most meaningful to me. Recently, my brother came for an overnight and took the kids mountain biking for the afternoon, so M and I had a little conversation time alone together before he went for a hike and left me alone in the house. I did some clean-up, but it still felt restorative because I was by myself. I really haven't been getting this kind of time much. It is so important to know these things about oneself!

Parenting:

Parenting, as always, is about connection, empathy, play, limits, listening, and love. I am working on talking less and listening more. Brown Mouse just went away for a couple of days for special adventure time with Grandma and Nonno, leaving Lala Bug to get some special time with us. It was what everyone needed.

Home life:

We are making very slow progress on clearing, cleaning, organizing, and re-arranging, but progress in baby steps is still progress. We have had a lot of rain and we can see where we may need to pause until it is dry enough for us to haul some things outside, but also that items like roof patching and fence securing are getting bumped up on the list. M and I are working to carve out time to really connect and communicate with each other about all. the. things; kids, schooling, home, work, future, finances. We are definitely at a point where we are both feeling worn and changes are needed. I feel the winds shifting.

Crafting:
Lala Bug's itch to knit has been rekindled. I am pleased to see her creativity re-blossom. M has been making some tools for his shop that haven't required power, since his finger is still recovering from the table saw. Brown Mouse has been working on a model Globe Theatre for his Shakespeare project. Me? I have been mending things and decluttering my crafting area, readying it to be packed up for a room rearrangement.

And just like that we slide toward spring! What is happening in your world?

February 2019

In February we say good-bye

to the migrating Monarch butterfly. 

~Nicola

Dates of Interest:

These are some of the days our family is celebrating this month or simply things we are taking note of or interest in.

Birthday celebrations in our family!

February 14: St. Valentine's Day

February 15-18: Great Backyard Bird Count

Homeschooling:

Just to keep it real; homeschooling is hard right now. We are simultaneously trying to address some learning and developmental challenges, while planning for the start of high school next year for our eldest. It is clear the combination is bringing up a lot of intense feelings, worry, and confusion for all of us.

Fifth grader: He is working on weekly homework for both his Shakespeare class and Exercise Physiology class, as well as his project for his Shakespeare class. His chosen topic is the Globe Theater.  He is using Teaching Textbooks and Key To workbooks for math and we are using games to review. We are continuing to use REWARDS to support his progress with language arts differences.

Eighth grader: She is working on homework, research project, and practicing lines for her Shakespeare class. She is getting a small amount of outside support for language arts and I am trying to work with her on math. Right now, we are focusing heavily on emotional health and skill building.

Self-care:

This has continued to be very difficult for me. Due to high needs parenting, I think I have gotten depleted enough that I really need some deep care to restore myself. I am trying for daily exercise and deep breathing. (A practice of 3 slow, deep breaths, in through the nose, hold, out through the mouth. Breath 1 is just the breath. Breath 2, expanding and stretching my body. Breath 3, thinking "what is important right now?" and focusing on that.)  I need to increase my water intake. My journaling has been spotty. What I think I really need to address next is a therapist or new listening partnership.

Parenting:

Parenting and homeschooling are all so deeply woven together! I have been saying yes just about every time Brown Mouse asks me to play our made up basketball trampoline game. Laughter, connection, and physical exercise are wonderful. With Lala Bug, I am making myself available when she seeks me out and I am working to reduce the corrections and increase the positive comments. Following M's power tool accident and subsequent emergency department visit (he is okay!), our highly sensitive girl has really struggled with us. Fear is a powerful thing to a sensitive being that is both both teen and young girl in one growing, changing mind and body.

Home life:

We have made expectations more clear, limits more clear, and everyone is helping a bit more. This is something we will continue to work on! We have done a couple more chunks of purging and I have a load to bring to the donation place, although you can't see the dent! We also did a deep clean of our bathroom (we have moisture problems during winter) and you can see the difference there!

Crafting:

Brown Mouse has been building. He got interested in earthquakes again and made a shake table and some buildings. He has also been playing with his Tinker Crates. (These were a birthday present from us. They come from KiwiCo. I have no affiliation and yes, I would recommend them.)  M had to take a rest because of his hand injury. Lala Bug has favored reading over crafting the past couple weeks and I have been deep in paperwork during my "extra" time. So little crafting has happened. Just typing that motivates me to put out some crafty "morning invitations!"

Happy February to you all. I know many homeschoolers dislike February, but it is one of my favorite months. I think of it as a "red" month, full of celebrations, picking up a little cheer after "blue" January. It has been wet and cold here. We even got snow here in coastal California last night! Be well.

(You will enjoy Carrie's monthly The Parenting Passageway post, here!)

January 2019

My blogging friend Carrie, of The Parenting Passageway, writes helpful, inspiring, meaningful posts on a very regular basis. I read and nod along with so many. She often writes a post for each month discussing relevant dates and ways to honor and celebrate those days as well as the season itself. This month, she added what she and her children were covering in each grade she is homeschooling, as well as personal and home goals and activities. I loved reading it and thought it was a format of sharing I would like to try. So here goes...

In January we hope for rain

to fill our reservoirs again. 

~Nicola

Dates of Interest:

These are some of the days our family is celebrating this month or simply things we are taking note of or interest in.

January 1: New Year's Day - for our family, this is the last day of our holiday countdown and a day that M has off of work.

January 20: Total Lunar Eclipse - I am excited that the eclipse can be seen at a time our kids can be awake to see it! Rainy weather may affect us, but fingers crossed we get a glimpse.

January 21: Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, observed

January 28: Journey North Mystery Class begins

Homeschooling:

After a very clunky few months, we are settling into a new and more predictable rhythm, which is very welcome!

Both kids are participating in a class and, ultimately, a production of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night right now. A lot of their lesson work stems from or is tied to this class, whether it be speech (learning lines), writing, or history.

Fifth grader: He is beginning to research and work on a project for the Shakespeare class. His chosen topic is architecture. I will help him narrow it down more as he explores his resources. He has regular/daily math he is doing using Teaching Textbooks and Key To workbooks. I am noticing some areas we need to review and/or gap-fill, so we are working on those, as well. He has learning differences with phonics, spelling, and writing, so we are using a program called REWARDS to support his progress in these areas.

Eight grader: She is also beginning to research and work on a project for the Shakespeare class. Her chosen topic is bookbinding in Elizabethan England. She is working on math daily using Khan Academy and Key To workbooks. We are also working through gaps. We have just gone through a lengthy evaluation for her and so are processing all we learned and making a plan for how to continue encouraging her strengths while adjusting assistance in the areas she needs more support.

Self-care:

My word for the year is present. My goal is to be mindful right now. A lot has happened in the past couple of years in our family that has affected my responses, reactions, and abilities to stay present. Also, we are having to do a lot more thinking and planning for educational changes next year. For various reasons, I have felt depleted and it has affected my health. So for self-care, I have resumed waking before everyone, getting a quiet cup of tea, and journaling. I have shifted my journaling prompts again, and having something fresh, helps. I am also getting daily exercise and M and I are re-establishing an at-home date night weekly.

Parenting:

One on one time for any of us (parent-child or husband-wife) has been ridiculously limited lately, so one of my goals right now is to make sure we are getting at least a little bit (that isn't connected to homeschool lessons). For Brown Mouse, this means remembering to pause what I am doing and join him in his play. For Lala Bug, it means joining her while she knits or crafts. And for M and me, it means those date nights I mentioned and a willingness to stay up later than my body likes, for at least one night a week, as his schedule and mine are a bit different. In addition, I have been mulling over Brown Mouse's social needs and supporting Lala Bug in building up the skills she will need for high school. We are still undecided about how/where she will be for 9th grade, so we have been touring schools and learning about the charter schools that serve homeschooled high schoolers.

Home Life:

I ended 2018 and began 2019 thinking a lot about my words for the years, shifting from happy to present. With my inner work toward happy came a foundation of work I needed to do around my expectations of others, limits/boundaries, and holding those limits with love. With a goal of being present, comes strength. All of that said, I have been doing a lot of inner work on my own needs, guilt, and what I am teaching my children through how I express all of this. Part of the result is that I am being clearer with the kids about the need for each of them to contribute more in our home, so I can be responsible for less. In addition, we are working towards some simple renovations (really, completion of projects started long ago) and a thorough purge and clean as we move toward re-arranging who sleeps in which rooms of our small house. This is long overdue and feels like a huge hurdle, so we are tackling a little bit at a time.

Crafting:

I simply don't have the time and energy I had when the kids were littler, to do the types of creating or writing I used to do. I know, it is a matter of how I choose to use my time. Right now, those pursuits are getting less of me. I have been reading for pleasure, I have been doing a tiny bit of knitting, and I have been taking photographs, which I love. Both kids are expressing an interest in photography, so I am considering signing us up for an online photo class. This would be something we could enjoy together, do in our own time from home, and also expose Lala Bug to online classes, which she will need to be familiar with in high school. We, as a family, have been crafting a lot, though. There was a lot of merry making leading up to Christmas and I have supported my very crafty children!

Well...so much January goodness. Although it is already mid-January, I have enjoyed sharing our plans. Maybe as we go along, I will also share what we actually did! If you care to share what is happening at your house, I would love to read it!

present

I am not sure at what point the word present landed on my list of possible words for 2019, but it was some months ago, perhaps even nearly a year ago. Sometime in November, though, it floated to the top of my mind and stuck there. Well, in honesty, I tipped back and forth between present and presence, but I decided that present had a little more flexibility to it and I am a woman who likes a little flexibility.

Each year, I choose a guiding word for myself. In fact, 2019 marks my 10th year of doing so. Woah. My words so far have been calm (2010), nourish (2011), hope (2012), renewal (2013), treasure (2014), joy (2015), potato (really, humor and laughter...potato was a family joke, 2016), harmony (2017), and happy (with expectations and boundaries being the foundation, 2018).

Just writing those words evokes so many memories and emotions for me, each word chosen carefully to honor where I was at that time in my life and my personal growth. I carry each word forward with me, knowing which ones I still need to meditate on from time to time.

As I reflect on my word for 2018, happy, I feel so good. So many really hard things happened for me (I don't want to use the words to me) in 2018 with regard to relationships with several people close to me. The kind of hurts that last a long time and grief that resurfaces in moments we least want it to, but makes us more confident, stronger, and reflect more on ourselves and what is most important. Coming into 2018, I already knew that the foundation of happy for me at this time in my life, was a need to be clear about my expectations of others (and myself) and a need to work on setting and holding boundaries. While still a work in progress for me, I have come a long way and each step has contributed to my overall sense of happy.

I will keep working on that in 2019, but the latter half of 2018 left me recognizing that I am having to work really hard to stay present. Parts of me feel stuck in the past, parts of me feel too forward-thinking, and part of me just feels muddled, fuzzy headed, wrapped up in worries, and unable to stay focused and mindful of what is important right now. All we have is today. I want to have happy presence with my family, I want to have clarity of mind, and I want to feel lighter and less drained. I think this may mean viewing the word present in a different way, as well...as a present to myself or the gift of self-care.

Do you have a word or goal for 2019?

Our 168

Recently, Carrie of The Parenting Passageway (one of the few blogs I still read and follow consistently) wrote about her family's use of the 168 hours in a week. I have written 'day in the life' posts before and I have privately recorded, hour by hour, my use of time (eye-opening), but I thought I would join her and share here, our current 168 from our homeschool perspective.

 Morning read aloud is an important part of our rhythm. Some of our current or recently completed books. So so good.

Our kids are in 8th and 5th grades. We have some unique needs, which I mention only because I know from years of parenting now, that these differences deeply affect how, why, and when we do or do not do things in our family. M works full time plus has a rough commute and conference calls in different time zones, so while he is fully engaged and supportive of our family life and homeschooling, he isn't available to relieve me easily for personal appointments, classes, or evenings off/out. We are doing our best to meet all the needs, but it is tricky right now. It feels nearly impossible to give our kids, ourselves, our families, and our marriage each the time and focus they need and deserve.

I try to begin every day with quiet time for myself for journaling and exercise. Our family meal is breakfast. We have daily 'house help' tasks to address basic cleaning, cooking, laundry, and pet. Everyone helps and these tasks and emotional/mental health are taking the lead in our schooling right now.

I am a gentle planner. A couple of us in our family do much better when we have a strong rhythm, consistency, and a sense of what is coming, so I like to prepare, because it helps me be more flexible in the moment. While we don't have a daily dinner theme, I always plan meals for the week ahead, based on what we have, what is in season, an what our schedule is. The meal plan for the week is then put on the fridge. We have a range of food sensitivities, so preparing is important, but we also keep it simple. We do have a daily breakfast plan that everyone can expect.

Below is roughly how we are using our 168 hours right now. This will change once we hit U.S. Thanksgiving and the holiday season and I have had to work very hard to keep some open days, although those days have been getting filled with atypical, but necessary, appointments this fall. When we have home days, we do a read-aloud, house help, main lessons, play time, independent reading, additional lesson work, and other projects (group or independent).


Monday:

• Nature study/hike
• 4-H project
• Occupational Therapy
• Soccer practice

Tuesday:

• Optional drop-in soccer class (The kids have been part of this group for several years, but having a morning class really makes it hard to do main lesson work, so right now, since they are also on soccer teams, we do drop-in occasionally.)
• Home day for lesson work and projects

Wednesday:

• Charter school class or activities day
• Errands
• Library 
• Soccer practice

Thursday:

• Home day for lesson work and projects
• (Homeschool group has park day or other activities. We only occasionally attend.)
• Once per month 4-H project
• Shakespeare book club for kids, MNO for me

Friday:

• Home day for lesson work and projects
• Once per month 4-H project

Weekend:

• Soccer games
• Family time/outing
• One on one time with the kids if we can
• preparing for the week ahead
• Project work on/in our home (DIY fixer upper)
• Time with extended family
• M likes to hike on his own, in addition to family hikes

How are you spending your days?

 

Late October nature table

lake life 2018

We are home again from a week at the lake. Immediately back to reality, which carried on without us, glad to have home to come home to, but clutching memories of 'home' in the wild.

This year, the trip almost didn't happen (we are add-ons to the growing family that owns that cabin) and we are so deeply grateful, never taking for granted the gift of the time, place, and tradition that this trip holds for all of us. (Here is last year's post. And one from 2016.) This place holds so many memories, so much growth made visible each year, and I am seeing more and more, a sense of place. ownership, and predictability for the kids (and me).

While the kids have gone fishing before, Brown Mouse caught his first real fish this year. Doing so was a powerful learning experience, unexpected and emotional. Both kids were deeply upset by it. Brown Mouse desperately wanted to bring a fish back to Grandma at the cabin, but was horrified at actually killing, cleaning, and carrying a fish, and Lala Bug was deeply upset at the inhumanity of harming an animal. We released the fish and, as the kids are not vegan or vegetarian, this prompted deep discussions. 

This year we were later in the summer than the past two years, so no wildflowers. It was incredibly dry due to lower than normal snow pack last winter, as well. We had M with us the entire week, the first time in a few years, which was such a gift to all of us.

 

We hiked a tremendous amount this year, exploring two new-to-the-kids lakes. This, of course, gave M and me the chance to share more stories and memories of these beautiful places.

 

 

Some of us snuck in some reading time, too. The kids blew through enough books that they both started in on Kindles. Kindles in hand, Lala Bug read at least two books from the Five Little Peppers series and Brown Mouse read several books from the Math Inspectors series. 

I finished How to Raise a Wild Child by Scott Sampson while enjoying this view (below), a gluten free beer, and leftover homemade (by my brother) enchilada casserole with a pile of tomatoes and guacamole. Perfect. And this really was the perfect setting in which to finish that book. It was such validation that M and I are raising wild children; children who know where they fit in, in nature, the importance of it, the appeal of it, how to care for it, and how to learn from it. We have children who seek it out.

 

The lake was so low this year, these two were able to wade from one swim rock to the other (to take photos of something...an Osprey?) And below, such competent paddlers now, more confident having practiced capsizing. There is something so special about watching your children and your parents paddle off, enjoying being active together.

 

And with that, the summer season swings closed and I reluctantly turn toward all that comes next.