52 weeks of photos. A special moment during the week of September 24, 2017
{Creatively living lightly with less.}
Saturday, September 30, 2017
Thursday, September 28, 2017
nostalgia and joy
A few random things.
Blogging friend, Renee, writes so beautifully (and I swear she is in my head), that there is almost no reason to blog. At least not this time. She puts beautifully into words and gives a name (unknown to me before) to this nostalgia that ebbs and flows for me. Mono no aware.
In one of her email blasts, she also included this quote, which I had read some time ago, but was so glad to have it brought back to mind.
Joy was my word of the year a couple years ago, yet I find in this constant stretch of home educating, that sometimes it can slip away without my wanting it to.
So I added it to that lovely list of 7 questions I borrowed, now 8 questions in our home. (I mentioned them at the bottom of this post!)
And with this awareness and desire to climb from the low spots, I do love the Jewish new year celebrations, reverence, and traditions that fall at this time of year. During our nature walk last week, the kids and I ate apples dipped in honey and shared our regrets and burdens before tossing stones into what little water remained in the creek.
I hope you are experiencing joy this week.
Blogging friend, Renee, writes so beautifully (and I swear she is in my head), that there is almost no reason to blog. At least not this time. She puts beautifully into words and gives a name (unknown to me before) to this nostalgia that ebbs and flows for me. Mono no aware.
In one of her email blasts, she also included this quote, which I had read some time ago, but was so glad to have it brought back to mind.
“Life is amazing. And then it's awful. And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life.
And it's breathtakingly beautiful.”
~L. R. Knost
Joy was my word of the year a couple years ago, yet I find in this constant stretch of home educating, that sometimes it can slip away without my wanting it to.
So I added it to that lovely list of 7 questions I borrowed, now 8 questions in our home. (I mentioned them at the bottom of this post!)
And with this awareness and desire to climb from the low spots, I do love the Jewish new year celebrations, reverence, and traditions that fall at this time of year. During our nature walk last week, the kids and I ate apples dipped in honey and shared our regrets and burdens before tossing stones into what little water remained in the creek.
I hope you are experiencing joy this week.
Saturday, September 23, 2017
Monday, September 18, 2017
the first weeks
In the event many of you are reading loads of wonderful back-to-school or back-to-not-school
(homeschool) posts (wherever you happen to read them), let this be the
post that lets you know you aren't alone if all has not gone smoothly. Oy.
The first 3(?) weeks here have been rough. I planned, I (thought I) was relaxed, I was excited for the new school year, the first day started well, and then sliiidddde, crash. Rhythm hasn't come easily, we have had significant kiddo struggles, main lesson hasn't gone smoothly, there have been more sibling squabbles than usual, the kids have not been listening well, it has been extremely difficult to transition them out of play and especially out of books they are engaged in, etc. And my block plan? Forget it. I didn't even make it out of the gate.
The final straw came last week when I slammed my finger in a door. Oh my goodness. I haven't had something hurt so much in a very long time (despite having consistent back pain the last 6+ months from an old injury). The injury took down the day, because it meant a doctor visit instead of activity day with our charter, it meant lots of tears from me, and the pain put me in a grumpy mood. While it doesn't seem to be broken (and blood is circulating), it is my dominant hand and it has continued to hurt enormously.
The next day, I descended a little further into gloom just from witnessing others having success. In our charter resource center for math class (where we were after more anger and frustration from my child over completing the homework), I watched one mom engage her 6th grader with joyful, loving praise. Another dad chatted to me about how much he loves homeschooling because he can watch his middle school daughter create and do things she loves and he has found she is so helpful around the home without even being asked. Had I found the same?
No. This week left me feeling like a failure. I had seriously off-track children, no joy, I felt lack of authority in my home(school), my kids didn't step up to help when I injured my finger, my kids were unhappy ("Can't we have any fun?!") and I felt insulted by it all. Whew.
Do you ever feel like the right voices come to you right when you need them most? I listened to a podcast from Hand in Hand Parenting that happened to address some of the very issues we struggle with. I needed the reminder that my kids are good. (They are so good!) I am good. We are all wanting to do the right thing and that it is healthy and necessary for me to offload my feelings to another adult so I don't do it on my kids, or, at the very least, I am lightened so I can engage with them the way I want to. Where had I gone off track? Then, I re-read a piece on temperament from Waldorf Essentials, with the thought it would help me consider my kids' temperaments in our homeschool. What it did, instead, was highlight for me that, even though I fundamentally know it comes down to me, I had gotten off track. I had become unbalanced. I am melancholic-sanguine, which is a hard combo to be. (We feel things deeply, want to do right by others, and have a difficult time with follow through.) I had definitely slipped into an exhausted, resentful melancholy. I find it hard to hold the space and limits consistently.
Sustaining all that is needed to homeschool a growing family of individuals, some of which have high needs, is, well...hard.
So that is where I am, fully aware and doing my best to quickly work my way back to balance, despite the crazy going on around me in my family and the world.
So...back to the school year. This realization made me stop and reconsider. Instead of feeling like everything is a flop, what IS working? There are individual successes! (I am letting the kids know I see these, too!) As a little tribe, our weekly nature walk using Exploring Nature with Children and John Muir Laws has been wonderful. Also, Waldorfish Weekly Art has been a success. I am letting these success lift me up, particularly as regular art and regular nature time were both difficult to establish previously! Also happening around here is a lot of reading. Honestly, so much that it has been difficult to transition kids' attention to anything else and I have been feeling, well, annoyed. But the last few days, several people in my homeschool world have serendipitously commented on the joy their kids are finding in books and in the library and I heard a voice in my head reminding me I would be distressed if they weren't reading. So...success!
This weekend, we had a birthday celebration for Lala Bug. All the guests were homeschoolers or former homeschoolers, and listening to the kids talk about the differences they perceive was so validating! They feel supported, like their interests and needs matter, and they like spending time with friends of both (all!) genders and ages, who are kind. This is what we hope for as homeschooling parents!
When I need a reminder to focus on connection and happiness in the home, Julie Bogart always seems to say just the right thing. Permission from a veteran. I read this Simple Homeschool article about what to ask ourselves as we begin the year that I thought was good and simple. I also made note about a little daily list of questions that come from Melisa Wiley in this Brave Writer podcast, but were highlighted by my friend, Jess, when she incorporated them into a beautiful art piece for her wall.
Today, did we:
Play and use our imaginations?
Do meaningful work?
Read a good book?
Have an encounter with beauty?
Ponder or discuss an idea?
Attempt something challenging or new?
Express gratitude?
So, here is to refocusing and moving forward. What has been working well for you?
The first 3(?) weeks here have been rough. I planned, I (thought I) was relaxed, I was excited for the new school year, the first day started well, and then sliiidddde, crash. Rhythm hasn't come easily, we have had significant kiddo struggles, main lesson hasn't gone smoothly, there have been more sibling squabbles than usual, the kids have not been listening well, it has been extremely difficult to transition them out of play and especially out of books they are engaged in, etc. And my block plan? Forget it. I didn't even make it out of the gate.
The final straw came last week when I slammed my finger in a door. Oh my goodness. I haven't had something hurt so much in a very long time (despite having consistent back pain the last 6+ months from an old injury). The injury took down the day, because it meant a doctor visit instead of activity day with our charter, it meant lots of tears from me, and the pain put me in a grumpy mood. While it doesn't seem to be broken (and blood is circulating), it is my dominant hand and it has continued to hurt enormously.
The next day, I descended a little further into gloom just from witnessing others having success. In our charter resource center for math class (where we were after more anger and frustration from my child over completing the homework), I watched one mom engage her 6th grader with joyful, loving praise. Another dad chatted to me about how much he loves homeschooling because he can watch his middle school daughter create and do things she loves and he has found she is so helpful around the home without even being asked. Had I found the same?
No. This week left me feeling like a failure. I had seriously off-track children, no joy, I felt lack of authority in my home(school), my kids didn't step up to help when I injured my finger, my kids were unhappy ("Can't we have any fun?!") and I felt insulted by it all. Whew.
Do you ever feel like the right voices come to you right when you need them most? I listened to a podcast from Hand in Hand Parenting that happened to address some of the very issues we struggle with. I needed the reminder that my kids are good. (They are so good!) I am good. We are all wanting to do the right thing and that it is healthy and necessary for me to offload my feelings to another adult so I don't do it on my kids, or, at the very least, I am lightened so I can engage with them the way I want to. Where had I gone off track? Then, I re-read a piece on temperament from Waldorf Essentials, with the thought it would help me consider my kids' temperaments in our homeschool. What it did, instead, was highlight for me that, even though I fundamentally know it comes down to me, I had gotten off track. I had become unbalanced. I am melancholic-sanguine, which is a hard combo to be. (We feel things deeply, want to do right by others, and have a difficult time with follow through.) I had definitely slipped into an exhausted, resentful melancholy. I find it hard to hold the space and limits consistently.
Sustaining all that is needed to homeschool a growing family of individuals, some of which have high needs, is, well...hard.
So that is where I am, fully aware and doing my best to quickly work my way back to balance, despite the crazy going on around me in my family and the world.
So...back to the school year. This realization made me stop and reconsider. Instead of feeling like everything is a flop, what IS working? There are individual successes! (I am letting the kids know I see these, too!) As a little tribe, our weekly nature walk using Exploring Nature with Children and John Muir Laws has been wonderful. Also, Waldorfish Weekly Art has been a success. I am letting these success lift me up, particularly as regular art and regular nature time were both difficult to establish previously! Also happening around here is a lot of reading. Honestly, so much that it has been difficult to transition kids' attention to anything else and I have been feeling, well, annoyed. But the last few days, several people in my homeschool world have serendipitously commented on the joy their kids are finding in books and in the library and I heard a voice in my head reminding me I would be distressed if they weren't reading. So...success!
This weekend, we had a birthday celebration for Lala Bug. All the guests were homeschoolers or former homeschoolers, and listening to the kids talk about the differences they perceive was so validating! They feel supported, like their interests and needs matter, and they like spending time with friends of both (all!) genders and ages, who are kind. This is what we hope for as homeschooling parents!
When I need a reminder to focus on connection and happiness in the home, Julie Bogart always seems to say just the right thing. Permission from a veteran. I read this Simple Homeschool article about what to ask ourselves as we begin the year that I thought was good and simple. I also made note about a little daily list of questions that come from Melisa Wiley in this Brave Writer podcast, but were highlighted by my friend, Jess, when she incorporated them into a beautiful art piece for her wall.
Today, did we:
Play and use our imaginations?
Do meaningful work?
Read a good book?
Have an encounter with beauty?
Ponder or discuss an idea?
Attempt something challenging or new?
Express gratitude?
So, here is to refocusing and moving forward. What has been working well for you?
Saturday, September 16, 2017
Tuesday, September 12, 2017
still a kid
Happy birthday, my sweet cheeks!
I was reading last year's blog post letter to you and it made me cry. (I know, I know...everything makes me cry.) I could write those exact words today. I vaguely recall struggling to think what to write and how to write it last year and I couldn't have said what I needed to, any better than I did.
Motherhood is the biggest gift you have ever given me. It rocks and rolls, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I am a little less the sunshine center of your comfort zone, sweet girl, as it should be. You shine your own light and I will be the moon radiating it back to you. I admire your self-confidence and empathy with others and your humble pride in your strengths.
Your favorites are unchanged; soccer, dance, knitting, reading, cozy cozy, and Eeyore. You have come to love American Girl, as well, with Kirsten becoming a part of the family. You are steady, my sweet girl. Change is not your favorite thing. Having noticed this, I have also noticed so much growth this past year. The 12-year change is very real and you have grown both physically and emotionally. I am so incredibly proud of you.
You are still a kid. Thirteen has brought up a mix of emotions and comments from you and those around you. Thirteen is still a kid. You just be who you are. An age change doesn't suddenly make you someone or somehow different. It is just another small door opening to what adventures lay ahead.
I love you to the moon and back a thousand million zillion times, Lala Bug. I hope you never truly doubt that.
Love, Mamma
Saturday, September 9, 2017
52: 36
52 weeks of photos. A special moment during the week of September 3, 2017
Lala Bug's first game!
Saturday, September 2, 2017
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