Saturday, December 31, 2016

harmony


Despite my little blog tagline, "Creating balance by creatively living lightly on less. At home.," I have found balance to be a bit elusive lately. I am having difficulty balancing all. the. things. Actually, that isn't as true as saying that I feel as though I am failing to meet the needs of everyone, perhaps myself as much as anyone, without guilt that I am taking away from someone else. I have experienced a tremendous amount of anxiety and overwhelm this year and have been feeling as though I am not enough for those around me. I suppose it is partially about setting limits lovingly.

So, although I considered other words, such as enchantment, connection, presence, self-care, and others, for my word for 2017, I wanted my word to center around the idea of balance (although I didn't want to use the word balance, itself).

My word for 2017 is Harmony.

My thought is that this one word can help me focus on finding balance while considering all those other important things; connection, self-care, simplicity. I want to feel harmony within myself and around me.

This is my 8th year choosing a word. My previous words for each year were as follows, and each has given me one anchor to pause and meditate on when I need just one thing.

2010 ~ Calm
2011 ~ Nourish
2012 ~ Hope
2013 ~ Renewal
2014 ~ Treasure
2015 ~ Joy
2016 ~ Laughter/Humor (Although really, it was a word that was an inside family joke.)
and
2017 ~ Harmony

Just as our holiday card said (and if you receive them, you will notice they are signed in a similar way each year), I hope 2016 has brought you much laughter and you, too, will find harmony in 2017.

Friday, December 23, 2016

this is my job

Social studies in the living room

This is the season of holiday parties, and in some of my online homeschooling communities, the question has arisen "What do you say when people ask what you do?" Honestly, this question doesn't bother me. I tell people what I do. But...this question generally comes from people I don't know, so it is more entertaining than anything else to watch and hear the responses. I have no investment in their opinion.

This year was the first time I can remember having conversations that left me feeling a little uprooted. At the time, I was momentarily phased, but it wasn't until later (early the next morning while exercising and having a quiet moment alone with my thoughts) that the words and the meanings meshed into something in my mind a little more weighty.


Writing holiday cards to nursing home residents

First, I was asked "so...just how long have you been a stay at home mom?" (Almost nine years. Nine of them. That's a lot of flippin' years.) The next person asked "so you still don't work, do you?" Honestly, my response to this one was "Actually, I work A LOT."

Okay, so I am a sensitive soul, and these were lovely, well intended questions from friends of my parents. People who probably don't really care a bit about what I really do, don't actually hold judgement on me, and who are just trying to make conversation. But they probably do care about my parents, they probably do compare what their own children are doing with what their friends' kids are doing, and perhaps my own parents do, too. As a sensitive soul, the questions linger and add themselves to the questions I have of myself. As I roll into mid-life, what am I doing with my life? What next?

 Learning about bridges with Uncle S

Well let me tell you...A LOT. I am teaching, learning, facilitating opportunities, fostering curiosities, exploring all sorts of topics, crafting, creating, and connecting with my children. I am good at it. It is hard. I am making decisions all. day. long. It is nearly impossible to find quiet. There are limits to my knowledge (as is the case for every teacher) and I don't get paid (in money). But this is my job and although I get grumpy, tired, stressed (the stakes are high!), and overwhelmed sometimes, I am privileged to do it and it is no less important than having an advanced degree or a passion-driven job as some of my peers are paid to do.

I am blessed to be in an extended family who, while concerned and curious, are supportive and interested, invested, and wanting to help. I am not generally questioned or undermined. Occasional comments are made that leave me wondering if they are disappointed with the choices I/we have made, if there is embarrassment at having to answer that I am not working (for a paycheck), but judgments and negative comments are kept to themselves, support is offered and given often, and I know we have opened the door to a world of possibilities, not just to our children, but to our families, as well.

I don't know what next. I am trying to be present in what is in front of me right now, as it is so fleeting. I have inklings of ideas of the possibilities for me when I am no longer homeschooling and have faith the doors will open when the time is right.

Right now, I am a home educator. This is my job. What do you do?

Monday, December 19, 2016

toffee time!

This is a post previously shared on my former blog and posted again each year. This is such a favorite that I receive multiple requests for it each year. 

 



Toffee
1 cup chopped walnuts
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup chocolate chips

Butter an 8-inch square pan. spread the chopped nuts in the pan.
Heat the butter and sugar and boil over medium heat, stirring constantly, until the mixture darkens and just begins to smoke, approximately 7 minutes.
Immediately pour the mixture evenly over the nuts and sprinkle the chocolate chips over this.
Cover the pan with a cookie sheet to keep the heat in and melt the chocolate.
Spread the chocolate evenly over the toffee layer. If desired, sprinkle more chopped nuts into the chocolate layer. Score while still warm, unless you don't mind irregularly broken pieces. (I don't mind them.) Refrigerate until hard.

Nicola's edited additions: I don't usually stir constantly. A reader commented about butter separation. When she did so, it had never happened to me. It subsequently happened once. I believe it was because I started with frozen butter and let that melt and begin to bubble before I added the sugar. Make sure you put these in the pan at the same time, room temperature. If you like hard toffee, make sure you cook it long enough. (It begins to have a slightly burnt smell.) If you like softer toffee, don't cook it as long. The 7 minute marker is helpful, but after you have done a handful of batches, you will also notice the mixture thin and darken slightly.

from The Complete Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

holiday books!





St. Nicholas Day seems like a fitting time to share our collection of holiday books. We celebrate St. Nicholas Day, Solstice, and Christmas, and we are in the northern hemisphere, so these and general winter books make the bulk of our collection. As we have learned about other cultures, such as the Jewish holidays, we have added in some of those celebrations, but we still don't have many picture books. For now, we are still borrowing from the library for those. Since we have so many books, I am sharing photos instead of listing titles and authors. If you see something here that you are interested in but having trouble finding online or at the library, just ask and I can share the full title and author.

Holiday books are treasured by my kids. They fill the book nook basket and are one of the most anticipated holiday treats early in December. Unpacking them was in a countdown sock and prompted a free write that day, where we each wrote about our favorite winter books.



 (That hidden book with no paper cover is Polar Express.)



Happy holidays and happy reading!

Monday, December 5, 2016

my favorite number




Oh, my Little Brown Mouse,

When I was little, my favorite number was always my age until I turned 9. I liked that number, so I stuck with it, even as I got older. Now, here you are, my 'baby,' turning 9. And 9, like it was for Lala, I can see already, is starting with a bang.

You are a firecracker, little man. You always have been. You are up for just about anything. You are still so young and snuggly, but so wise and mature sometimes. You aware that not everyone your age (or older!) is or can be and you are compassionate about it and oh so forgiving.

It is a joy and pleasure to be your Mama and to spend my days learning from you and alongside you. Right now, you love so many of the things you have always loved and you continue to explore them in new ways, to 'own' them as parts of what makes you tick. You love soccer (woo hoo #4!), building, science, and math. You still love your Tigger and Teddy Bear. You still love snuggles and tickle monster, Boppers, and to "play with me, Mama!" You are questioning things more and resisting certain things more now, which is just about right for your age, but is bittersweet, too.

I love you Little Brown Mouse. Happiest of birthdays, today, as you travel around the sun once more.

Love, Mamma


Saturday, November 12, 2016

self-care




I felt inspired to begin writing this post several weeks ago, when I could feel a tug inward, but that pull was followed by such an intense test of my inner self and has been so full of processing. (And that was before Election Day!) I had new layers of myself pulled back by surprise and though the processing is hard, I feel good and strong in who I am and the path I am on. There is a sense of peace in that.

As a highly sensitive, melancholic-sanguine (feels deeply, deep thinker, but has difficulty with personal follow-through), I am finding this season of life (homeschooling, children going through changes, high needs) challenging and I am struggling to get (expect, request, carve out) enough time alone. I have thought, too many times, "I need to think about thinking." That is always the red flag that it is time to go quiet, go inward, reflect, offload, and heal.

I have had such positive experiences getting what I have needed in the two weeks leading up to the time change and it has motivated me to finish this post and share some ways I take care of myself and I carve out time for inner work, especially as a 24/7 homeschooling parent.


  1. I take a teaching day off. We play games, listen to Sparkle Stories, watch movies or shows, read books, do crafts, etc. 
  2. I find a way to get alone time. Sometimes this is accomplished simply by laying down and putting earbuds in. The UCLA Mindfulness Institute meditations are among my favorites. Often, I start the day quietly alone. (I was in a dreamy groove of this until the time change last weekend! Now I seem to have company in the mornings.)
  3. Journaling. Writing has always been cathartic for me. It has been an essential way of processing and working out feelings. In the last 6 months or so, writing hasn't come as easily. I have all the words in my head, but when they are there, ready to pour out, I don't have the time or space to get them onto paper. Journaling, therefore, is sometimes a short poem or a collage. Something that lets me express myself.
  4. Exercise. It just makes one's body and mind feel more positive!
  5. Reading something inspirational to this season of my life. Some of my favorites are: A Gracious Space, Mitten Strings for God (non-religious), Simplicity Parenting, and The Parenting Passageway.  
  6. I listen to podcasts and recorded videos, usually related to (you guessed it) this season of my life; homeschool, parenting, simplicity, and others. I am particularly enjoying A Gracious Space readings, SparkleCast, Homeschool Sisters, A Waldorf Journey (these three are on iTunes), and Waldorf-Inspired Learning. I also like to listen to older talks recorded by Melisa of Waldorf Essentials, through my TFW Lifetime membership.
  7. Take a class! Classes and coaching that have reeled me in are Waldorf Essentials TFW Lifetime, The Alliance from Brave Writer, several different MOOCs, a Hand in Hand Parenting course, and others, and those are just the online ones! In person, my favorite ones recently were a Waldorf Essentials Joyful Essentials workshop and a John Muir Laws drawing class. (The drawing class was free and the kids joined me!)
  8. Practice a hobby (while the kids are around)! Photography, writing, sewing, gardening, knitting, and drawing/art are all things the kids and I have done together and feed my soul. 
  9. Get regular inspiration and reminders of the need for self care, play, and connection. Play4Life Moms has the best text and quick video service for giving me little reminders throughout the week. Again, A Gracious Space readings and parent listening partnerships keep me focused and positive.
  10. I make sure I am at least getting the "little" things. Like my morning cup of tea.
  11. I ask for help from my "village."
I don't get all of these things all of the time, but when I don't do any of them, we all suffer. What do you do to take care of yourself?