no little cabin in the woods

On this day last year, we packed up and headed home from our annual trip to the lake.

Two years ago, when it was time to schedule some time at the lake, we were told that there wasn't a time slot for us. After a little (probably a lot) of shifting and likely some sacrificing of days on the part of the growing (now multi-generational) family that owns the cabin, we got a week up there. We knew not to take it for granted.

This year, with the pandemic, the scheduling date came and went. We have had our own health concerns and uncertainty about travel, so when word came back that the family had filled the summer schedule due to no other travel plans, and there were no days for us, it was expected. But I turned off the computer and I cried.

This is the first summer that we don't get to spend time up there at the little house in the woods. This special place, accessible only by water, has been an annual get-away for my family since my older brother was an infant.  Every summer, since I began blogging, I have written about it, and I have to do so this year, even though I have no new moments to share, because a piece of me is missing. This place is my marker of time. It is where the cycle of my year is re-calibrated. Even now, typing this, seeing these images, posting links to past posts (below), I am emotional.

2020 is full of grieving, isn't it? So many lives lost. So much living lost. Racial, political, economic loss and tension. This is the year when nothing is the same. (And yet everything is the same, day after day, lost in sameness.)

There have been moments this summer, when I have been out for a hike or near water, and the splashing sound, or breeze through the trees, or the certain smell of the sun on the earth will spark a whole body feeling of being up there, and if I just close my eyes...

We have talked about taking a road trip up to the lake, just to hike or paddle. There is hesitation. "It's not the same." A few days in the cabin on the lake is the kind of sameness we need. We crave the celebratory anchors. We have known our time there might come to an end, but I will hold hope for next summer.

The last 4 years of posts from this particular blog.
2019
2018
2017
2016

living light and DIY

During this pandemic (our family is now entering week 9), it has been nearly impossible to get any alone time, but observing each of us, I am learning so much. Speaking about myself only, I have noticed that I flow in and out of a mix of emotions, even in the course of a day. We have been fortunate, so far, and I feel guilt, privilege, and gratitude all rolled into one untidy bundle. I, like many, have found this whole event to be stressful, but there are some things we are doing that keep us busy, ease some of the stress, and feel productive.

Growing an edible garden. With a small yard, we are growing in scattered little plots.

We are in a part of Northern California where our shelter-in-place orders have been extended through May 31, with uncertainty beyond that. These weeks at home have had difficult and joyful spots, growth and regression. Among the positives, however, have been the space and necessity that we lean into our more resourceful, DIY tendencies. As I said in my previous post, I am choosing light; seeing the brightness of this time and living more lightly on the planet. (It is one way I manage my anxiety.) Living lightly is something M and I have always aligned on, but I had been feeling like we had drifted in the past 5 years or so. (We spent an entire year buying nothing new when the kids were younger, but that would be so much harder now!)

 Homemade sauerkraut and homemade yogurt.

Sheltering in place has shown us a few things.

It quickly became clear to us that our tendency to be prepared was helpful. Preparation has been a tool I have used for years, initially because being prepared saves us money, more recently because it saves us time and addresses environmental risks (earthquakes and wildfires) and food allergies and sensitivities, and in shelter-in-place, it has saved us from additional worry.

As more and more people have jumped into urban homesteading, it gave me an awareness of how much our family already does ourselves, and if there is an urban homestead wagon, we were already on it.

Muffins and granola. We make granola weekly and the recipe is my gluten free version of a recipe I brought home from summer camp when I was 12.

I have enjoyed the challenge of making things work during this time when zipping out to buy and telephoning to hire haven't been options. Within the first 3 weeks of shelter-in-place, we had multiple things break. Between us, we had the skills and resources to repair or work out an alternative. This time has had me reflecting on lessons my grandparents and parents shared, and the phrase 'use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.' We are not lacking for anything, but I certainly don't want anything to go to waste and I am extra eager for us to take care of what we do have. These desires are emphasized by the desire to avoid contact with others.

The reasoning is bizarre and unprecedented, but the resulting resourcefulness and simplicity are welcomed, and the decreased environmental impact is so very good.

Line dried laundry and plastic bags (washed and reused, yes). Do you see rags hanging there? We use a lot of cloth; rags, napkins, towels, feminine, and when we had babies, diapers. We have used cloth wipes, too, but we do use toilet paper when it can be purchased.

The photos in this post are a sampling of simple actions and recipes we were already using long before this pandemic. In addition, we have a chest freezer to stock on on sale foods and bulk cooked meals. We are crafty and make things we need through woodworking, sewing, other fiber arts, and more. (Yup, we have made masks right along with everyone else!)

While we had chickens for years, we don't currently. We talked about getting chicks last year, but didn't have the bandwidth. We do now, and so chicks are on their way to us. We have cleaned out the coop and are excited for the coming additions to our little homestead. We keep trying new things, too. I just made a batch of rice milk and while I bake a lot from scratch, I want to try making my own gluten-free sourdough starter for gluten-free sourdough bread.

I hope to look back on this time and see the creativity, the light, and the need for less that resulted from it.

What roots have you returned to during this time?

creative light less at home through a pandemic

 Beloved Hawthorn tree, which has transformed in the last 2 weeks. A flock of Cedar Waxwings cleared the remaining berries, nudging the new leaves to show themselves.

While I have had a lot of things to say and seemingly plenty of time to say them, the thoughts in me haven't been organized or fluid for months now. For this reason, I post less and less often.

Even now, I am not sure that my jumble of thoughts will be well written, but I want to get something onto the blog to mark this time in history and our lives. Our family has been socially isolating for nearly 4 weeks. Yesterday marked 3 weeks since health officials in our area (the first to do so in the country) declared shelter-in-place due to COVID-19. My thoughts now are very different from that first week.

During week 1, this whole situation felt unreal. As our movement in the world became more limited, it seemed surreal, as though it would be temporary. I wondered if the view of homeschooling might change for the better as schools closed one by one. My thoughts of that have shifted the past few weeks. I worry for the families that are trying to juggle kids at home with work-from-home jobs, kids who don't have a safe haven at home, and families who have lost jobs. I know there are teachers struggling to pull together home lesson plans (this being harder the younger the child), parents struggling to know how to bring a class teacher's lesson plan to life at home, and kids pushing back and resisting work. Now in week 4, I wonder...when we are all let back out into the world and schools reopen, if homeschoolers will be more criticized than before. And at some point I realized; No one is homeschooling right now, not even the homeschoolers. What we are doing is pandemic-schooling. Or just surviving. (I like what Carrie of The Parenting Passageway and Shawna of Different by Design Learning have to say.) The reality is that no-one has been where we are now. We are trying to find our footing while figuring out how to acquire the basics for living, get enough movement while deprived of big nature, and support each other. All while we wait for an unknown. We are a world spiking in physical, emotional, and mental health strain.
Week 1, one of my biggest emotions was guilt. Guilt that we were okay and totally soaking in the time at home. My family had desperately been needing some down time, together. M's work and commute had been nutty, and when he was home, he often had conference calls. His absence had, in all honesty, created some painful Dada rejection for one kid. The kids and I had been very busy, one kid sick in February and the other counting the weeks until spring and summer breaks. The first week home, we connected, we relaxed, we had time to be creative. We had some hard adjustments too. It turns out live-stream online classes (distance-learning) are not a good fit for one kiddo, our Internet coverage is clunky, and our house is tiny, so there is no-where for M to work. (He has a stool pulled up to the side of our bed, and as of last summer, our bedroom is a finished basement room - a through-way to the garage. He had to connect his computer to the Internet with hard wire to have a connection down there.) Work continues to be stressful, with new dimensions of intensity.

But these are first world problems. So far, he is still employed and we are still healthy, as are our families. So far. The 'not knowing' what is to come is hard. I read an article in week 2, written by a counselor to parents of high needs children. Some excellent points were made that we parents of kids with special needs are experienced with 'no knowing.' Very true. Now in week 4, I see that the reality is the whole world is on pause right now. No one knows how long any given place will need to stay home to stay healthy. There is so much worry, with health and financial worry topping the list. And while humanity struggles, Mother Earth keeps turning, the sun keeps rising, the birds are singing, the air quality is much improved, and wildlife can be seen roaming now-quiet streets. These are the beautiful things, along with health and bounty, that keep us all moving forward. Not seeing friends and the more solid understanding that kids won't resume or be reunited with classes, sports, and friends anytime soon has been hard. Sibling relationships have gone from playful to strained.

Week 1 we needed the down time. Week 4 we are needing outside-the-family time. This month has been an incredible spyglass on the balance my family needs.

A week or so ago, I was messaging with a local friend, who was feeling overwhelmed (as many of us are) and who said "I just want to go back to how it was." Deep breath. Pause. I texted back; "Me too. There is no going back. It will always be life 'before pandemic' and life 'after pandemic'." That is a huge realization to mentally own and everyone will have to do that in their own time and way. And right now, "during pandemic" feels unfamiliar, isolating, scary, never-ending, anxious, frazzled, insert-your-emotions-here.

"During pandemic" has also had its share of positive emotions; connection, love, deep gratitude, and creativity, caring, friendliness with new meaning. This time has nudged us to to return to the roots of this blog; Creative. Light. Less. When I first began blogging (on my blog titled Which Name?), most of what I wrote about was creative, frugal living. When I moved blogs and chose a new name, I stuck with that and chose a name that reflected my desire to live creatively, lightly on this Earth, and with less (stuff, baggage, etc.) During the past 5+ years, our family has drifted further away from those roots and my blogging has been spottier and more about homeschooling. At the end of 2019, I had decided that I wanted to consciously return to some of these lifestyle fundamentals. For similar and other reasons, I chose the word Light as my word for 2020. So it seems positive to me that, here we are, finding light in this time of darkness in the world, and having to live creatively and with less.  I know that it has helped us tremendously that we were prepared entering into this stay-at-home time. Our family culture being rooted in DIY made this transition easier, as did our preparedness for earthquakes and wildfires because of where we live. (I am linking to another post from Carrie of The Parenting Passageway, where she wrote about how she was preparing for an extended time at home. It is a great prep list.) This time at home has given space for recycled/upcycled craft projects, seed planting, tons more creative cooking, conscious shopping, reusable materials, creative fixes and replacements, and more consciousness to what we are using and doing.  The craze for toilet paper has me worried in only one way...someone accidentally flushing cloth wipes down the toilet. (We already had the stress of having a plumber in during week 2 because of a clog in the pipe that we couldn't clear with our home tools.)

So here we are today, sitting in gratitude for all we have and curiosity about the days ahead.

I hope my rambling, wandering thoughts find you doing whatever you can and are able to do to stay safe and healthy; physically, emotionally, and mentally, and you have a window or an outdoor space that lets you soak in a little springtime sunshine and fresh air.

Stay well.

homeschool day - 9th and 6th grades

Every year for the past few, I have prepared and written a post for the Homeschool Day in the Life series at Simple Homeschool. I love Simple Homeschool. It was one of my first entries into homeschooling, before we even began. And I have loved contributing to this series. This is its 10th year, coming at a time of fewer blogs and more Instagram.

The truth is, this year it crept up on me and I didn't prepare anything.

The truth is, this year I am winding down as a blogger after 13+ years.

The truth is, so much has changed for us this year, as homeschoolers and as individuals, that I am not even sure how to write a homeschool day post.

But...those reasons feel all the more compelling to share something.

So with the link-up reminder arriving in my email inbox this morning, I am blogging about our day today and will link-up late.

Today is a Thursday. Each day of the week looks a little different for us, with a general schedule;

Mondays usually include a 4-H activity for my son.  My daughter will do a make-up of the 4-H activity at a later time, because her class schedule changed at winter break, making Monday one of her long days in the part time program she attends.

Tuesday is also a long day for her, and my son and I work on his various learning needs and desires.

Wednesday is charter school day. Right now, this is Shakespeare class, project, and performance. My daughter graduated from the charter, but is costume assistant. She then goes on to one class in her part time program.

Fridays are a home or field trip day.

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings are ballet for my daughter. Tuesdays and Thursday evenings are karate for my son.

Every morning we have 'together time,' which includes a game, read aloud of some kind (book, poetry, news article, etc.), and CNN 10.

Today is Thursday and usually that means we have our morning together at home for together time and some lesson work and lunch before heading out so my daughter can go to a class and my son and I play at the park and go to the library. Today, though, after our together time, we had the first in a series of orthodontist appointments and when we got home, lessons didn't happen smoothly (or at all for one kiddo). Overwhelm from a lot going on finally came to a head and it was clear that structured learning was done while we worked through some big feelings. I called it a mental health day and we stayed home for the day. My daughter's class and my son's karate didn't happen today. I will be honest, 8 years into homeschooling, I am much better at taking a deep breath and letting it go. An occasional miss for whole health reasons feels right to me.

We spent the day on projects, resting, reading, and even having some time on screens. We played a game of Skip-Bo during dinner and we are winding down to an early bed with some music.

And tomorrow is fresh. I have a general idea what we need to cover, but, as always, we shall see how the day unfolds.

(For more about our homeschool, click here. For a little background (albeit 4 years old now!) on our homeschool journey, click here.)

learning period 3: 2019 - 2020

I am trying to capture each learning period as they happen, which, for our homeschooling arrangement, is a 2-month length of time, August through May. Learning period 3 covered December 2019 and January 2020. The idea of a learning period comes from the charter school that both my kids were in from 2013 onward and just Brown Mouse is part of now. Checking in every two months is doable for me and keeps me on track with both kids. Lala Bug is still homeschooling, but we are independently homeschooling now and she takes a couple classes at a private school, as a part-time student for hybrid-schooling.

Brown Mouse, grade 6:

Math: He is primarily using ALEKS and Key To workbooks for math. 6th grade is when I really backed off and made the year playful with math for his sister and I am keeping it short for him, currently, because I can feel a similar push-back and frustration.

Science: Science is one of his favorite subjects, so we do a lot of playing around with science. Recently, we have really enjoyed exploring science projects from the series of books from DK by Jack Challoner.

Language Arts/English: Brown Mouse is doing a loop of materials to work on different aspects of language arts in short bursts daily. He is using Typing Club, Handwriting Without Tears for Cursive, Editor in Chief, and speech-to-text to more fully get his thoughts in writing. He has also read and is now in a production of Shakespeare's Macbeth.

Social studies/history: We are learning American History. Right now, we are in the Civil War time period. Just to be confusing, we are also re-exploring the Middle Ages and Brown Mouse is beginning to work on a research project to go with his Shakespeare class.

Other: 4-H (all outdoors projects this year; hiking, urban farming, and wilderness skills, for which he is the junior leader), karate (new for him), soccer (skills class and pick-up games with his rec team)

Lala Bug, grade 9:

Math: Algebra 1 at the school. She is doing really well in this, despite years of math-hating, but the homework is time and energy consuming for her, I won't lie.

Science: Biology, with lab, at the school. This is my background, but is definitely not a favorite for her. She is currently having to practice note-taking because of this class and that is a challenging skill for her differently wired brain.

Language Arts/English: This year we are covering Shakespeare - comedy and tragedy and also essay reading (and eventually a little more writing).

Social studies/history: American history with the intention of being ready for American Government next school year. Right now, we are in the Civil War time period. We have also been dipping in and out of current events, because so much has been going on politically.

World language: This is generally on hold, although she has been "playing" with DuoLingo for Italian.

Other: 4-H (all outdoors projects now; hiking, urban farming, and wilderness skills, for which she is the teen leader. Unfortunately, she had to drop a life skills project because her academic school class times changed), ballet, coding, fashion/design, knitting. (Soccer is on break for the season.)


What has your kids schooling and education looked like lately?

December's Countdown 2019

 

Every year, we do a countdown from December 1 through January 1. (In a row of little infant socks we clip to a string of twinkly lights.) This year, as with all things recently, felt a little different. Both kids wanted to do the countdown, but we didn't do some things we usually do (that were not missed) and did do some special things outside the countdown socks, which I was told were special enough that maybe they should be a countdown again next year.  This was a year of change and growth, but also unexpected occurrences that effected the holidays, so I have made some notes and am curious to see what next year brings.

 

Countdown:

        December

1. Sparkle Stories Advent stories begin!
2. Change the nature table for winter
3. Pull out holiday books
4. Visit the toy store and choose a toy each for a child in need.
5. Think of others today. What can you say to or do for someone that would be especially kind?
6. Do a little holiday shopping. Happy St. Nicholas’ Day! 
7. Pull out Christmas decorations.
8. Build a gingerbread house
9. Treasure hunt! (Find little trees to decorate for your rooms.)
10. Make a card or gift.
11. Decorate wreaths to leave as a surprise for grandparent.
12. Make paper snowflakes 
13. Go to the homeschool make and take fair (We opted not to go so made art at home.)
14. Go see holiday light displays.
15. Get a Christmas tree
16. Treasure hunt! 
17. Choose at least one book to donate, then visit the library book store to choose a book as a gift.
18. Do some holiday baking today.
19. Go to the reuse store and see what you can find to make a gift.
20. Make blessing bags for homeless.
21. Enjoy hot cocoa with a fire in the fireplace. (After seeing a holiday play with Grandma and Nonno.)
22. Hanukkah begins, light the menorah.
23. Make space for new goodies.
24. Neighborhood day; deliver homemade gifts, pick-up trash, and add a book to the little library.
25. Merry Christmas!
26. Choose a candy cane from the tree.
27. Play dreidel.
28. Make latkes and applesauce.
29. Today is to take care of and watch the birds. 
30. Thank you notes!
31. Make a collage with your dreams for the coming year.
    
    January

1. Light a candle tonight and make a wish or set an intention for the New Year.

light

I have thought a lot about how 2019 felt for me, how I want 2020 to feel, and I have thought about a lot of different words to hold in my mind and heart for 2020. 2019 was a year of a lot of change. Not the sort of change I could write about in our holiday newsletter, but changes of big and small kinds more intimate to our little family. It also held the kind of small changes that pave the way for bigger changes. I worked hard to be present through it all.

Oddly enough, I wrote part of a post about change in April, which I never posted. It is here, below.

I have been thinking about feeling behind, feeling stuck, progress, and change a lot this past year or so. 

As part of our read-aloud, we read poetry. When I read this some months ago, it held in my mind. It reminded me of the Rumi poem, A Guest House, and also of the quote by L.R. Knost (which is at the top of my homeschool planning/prepping Evernote pages). For some reason, this poem left me feeling as though the uphill climb, the sense of treading water, is normal, and there is company and care in each step.

Up-Hill

By Christina Rossetti

Does the road wind up-hill all the way?

   Yes, to the very end.

Will the day’s journey take the whole long day?

   From morn to night, my friend.

But is there for the night a resting-place?

   A roof for when the slow dark hours begin.

May not the darkness hide it from my face?

   You cannot miss that inn.

Shall I meet other wayfarers at night?

   Those who have gone before.

Then must I knock, or call when just in sight?

   They will not keep you standing at that door.

Shall I find comfort, travel-sore and weak?

   Of labour you shall find the sum.

Will there be beds for me and all who seek?

   Yea, beds for all who come.

I think I am mentally a little resistant to choosing the word change because it feels forced and rushed and, if I am honest, I am not fully ready for some of the bigger changes that I know are inevitably coming. And so, I am mulling on change, but I am giving space around this word, this idea, and allowing my anchor word for 2020 to be something a little gentler, but equally important and certainly related and relevant in my world right now.

My word for 2020 is light. This word can apply to so many parts of my life right now, particularly as a melancholic, sentimental, deep-thinker and feeler. I look forward into 2020, a new decade, and I see a lot going on for our family, and I hope that holding this word close will help remind me to keep things simple, bright, and positive, if I am able. It was these images I had in mind, when I renamed my blog, Creative. Light. Less. several years ago. I want to move lightly on this earth, live lighter (less clutter, less spending), lighten my mood, my heart, my thinking. I imagine the light of a candle when my world feels dark, the light of a camp or hearth fire when my world feels cold.

One of the other words I considered was namaste, which I first learned to roughly mean "the good and the light in me sees and honors the good and the light in you." I think this imagery is so powerful and beautiful. There is light again. I want to pay attention to the light in others.

2019 was my 10th year of choosing a word for my head and heart. My guiding  words so far have been calm (2010), nourish (2011), hope (2012), renewal (2013), treasure (2014), joy (2015), potato (really, humor and laughter...potato was a family joke, 2016), harmony (2017), happy (with expectations and boundaries being the foundation, 2018), and present (being present in the moment and giving presents of restorative self-care to myself, 2019). 

Each of these words holds meaning and memories for me, which brings both a smile to my face and tears to my eyes.

I wish you all light, love, peace, and simplicity as we shift into a whole new decade.