self-care

I felt inspired to begin writing this post several weeks ago, when I could feel a tug inward, but that pull was followed by such an intense test of my inner self and has been so full of processing. (And that was before Election Day!) I had new layers of myself pulled back by surprise and though the processing is hard, I feel good and strong in who I am and the path I am on. There is a sense of peace in that.

As a highly sensitive, melancholic-sanguine (feels deeply, deep thinker, but has difficulty with personal follow-through), I am finding this season of life (homeschooling, children going through changes, high needs) challenging and I am struggling to get (expect, request, carve out) enough time alone. I have thought, too many times, "I need to think about thinking." That is always the red flag that it is time to go quiet, go inward, reflect, offload, and heal.

I have had such positive experiences getting what I have needed in the two weeks leading up to the time change and it has motivated me to finish this post and share some ways I take care of myself and I carve out time for inner work, especially as a 24/7 homeschooling parent.

1. I take a teaching day off. We play games, listen to Sparkle Stories, watch movies or shows, read books, do crafts, etc. 
2. I find a way to get alone time. Sometimes this is accomplished simply by laying down and putting earbuds in. The UCLA Mindfulness Institute meditations are among my favorites. Often, I start the day quietly alone. (I was in a dreamy groove of this until the time change last weekend! Now I seem to have company in the mornings.)
3. Journaling. Writing has always been cathartic for me. It has been an essential way of processing and working out feelings. In the last 6 months or so, writing hasn't come as easily. I have all the words in my head, but when they are there, ready to pour out, I don't have the time or space to get them onto paper. Journaling, therefore, is sometimes a short poem or a collage. Something that lets me express myself.
4. Exercise. It just makes one's body and mind feel more positive!
5. Reading something inspirational to this season of my life. Some of my favorites are: A Gracious Space, Mitten Strings for God (non-religious), Simplicity Parenting, and The Parenting Passageway.  
6. I listen to podcasts and recorded videos, usually related to (you guessed it) this season of my life; homeschool, parenting, simplicity, and others. I am particularly enjoying A Gracious Space readings, SparkleCast, Homeschool Sisters, A Waldorf Journey (these three are on iTunes), and Waldorf-Inspired Learning. I also like to listen to older talks recorded by Melisa of Waldorf Essentials, through my TFW Lifetime membership.
7. Take a class! Classes and coaching that have reeled me in are Waldorf Essentials TFW Lifetime, The Alliance from Brave Writer, several different MOOCs, a Hand in Hand Parenting course, and others, and those are just the online ones! In person, my favorite ones recently were a Waldorf Essentials Joyful Essentials workshop and a John Muir Laws drawing class. (The drawing class was free and the kids joined me!)
8. Practice a hobby (while the kids are around)! Photography, writing, sewing, gardening, knitting, and drawing/art are all things the kids and I have done together and feed my soul. 
9. Get regular inspiration and reminders of the need for self care, play, and connection. Play4Life Moms has the best text and quick video service for giving me little reminders throughout the week. Again, A Gracious Space readings and parent listening partnerships keep me focused and positive.
10. I make sure I am at least getting the "little" things. Like my morning cup of tea.
11. I ask for help from my "village."

I don't get all of these things all of the time, but when I don't do any of them, we all suffer. What do you do to take care of yourself?

learning period 1: 2016

Home living, home learning...

I have over-thought and hesitated posting much about how we homeschool because we seem to be shifting and I don't feel as though we fit in any basket anymore. We are do-what-feels-right homeschoolers now, which looks a little like Waldorf (and feels like, for this Mama, at least, Waldorf at its roots), a little like nature schooling (Charlotte Mason-ish?), Brave Writer-ish, a little interest-lead, and a little mainstream.

While a lesson plan is helpful, I have learned that, for me, what I most use is a guide that helps me remember what I want to cover, how long I think it might take, resources I might like to use, and other activities and events I might like to include or might get in the way. Here is the plan I shared for this school year. I have already deviated!

 

We have just finished our first learning period of the school year. I don’t know that I have used that term before here on my blog, as I tend to go month by month. We school through a charter, which requires that each child have two work samples for each of five subjects (writing, language arts, science, math, and social studies) every learning period. Each learning period is approximately two months. We just completed our first learning period and I want to share a little about what we have been doing. I have blogged a little bit so far, here and here. (I should share that the charter has allowed me to try all sorts of different materials and resources that they have supplied. Some of what we are using now comes from our charter, but we are also budgeting for some items ourselves because they aren't covered by our charter.)

For Language Arts – I have been using the Brave Writer approach with both kids. With Little Brown Mouse, I am using the Brave Writer product, The Wand. His reading is improving steadily (in spurts), but I noticed certain aspects he hasn’t grasped well and The Wand is teaching me certain spelling and reading rules I didn’t know well enough to teach, so I am sharing these lessons with both kids! For Lala Bug, I am creating copy work from various books we are reading. Some of Little Brown Mouse's copy work comes from The Wand, some from other literature. All of us do free writing, we do semi regular poetry tea time, and we do daily read alouds together. For this time, I pull books I want them to hear, some chapter books, some picture books, all from a variety of subjects. Stories and literature play a large role in our homeschool. I do not assign reading. If there is something I want them to read, I read it out loud. Lala Bug is such a prolific reader, that sometimes I have to pull her away from reading, but the choices for that reading are not dictated by me. (That said, I will check out books and leave them to be discovered!) Both kids truly enjoy books and love our weekly library day.

For writing – This is also Brave Writer inspired. I am still learning my way through this, but I have one writer who is recovering from being reluctant, who chose a creative writing class through our charter, and is writing on her own a fair bit (and asking for my input)! The other is a reluctant writer who is willing to write little bits and pieces for copy work and free writing, which is also progress. He's got lots of stories and things to say, which I jot down when I am able. For mechanics (which is really the part of writing that is disliked here), I have begun teaching Little Brown Mouse cursive (using Handwriting Without Tears) and it has been a huge hit.

For science – During this first learning period, we learned a bit about the body and how humans grow and change through their lives, birth through old age. We also learned more about Monarch butterflies and their life cycle and we studied the moon (which touched lightly on some studies of astronomy and our universe.) I had planned to do some introductory physics this learning period, but we didn't get to it. We are using a variety of books (from our city library, our charter resource center, and our home library) and hands-on activities and explorations for science. The kids have really been enjoying Destinations in Science, an older story based science series, which we got from our charter resource center, but doesn't seem to be readily available anymore. They have continued to really like Mystery Science and we have also used a story set from Be Naturally Curious. I include nature study and exploration as part of science, which we continue to do naturally (something our family values), but I have really enjoyed the information, art, and poetry components of Exploring Nature with Children. It is well worth its price.

For social studies – I wanted to bring a little Ancient Greece to the kids, but for all her love of social studies, history, and geography, Lala Bug has had some resistance to learning about ancient civilizations. The timing was perfect, because the Olympics was a beautiful "in." We all really enjoyed learning about Ancient Greece through the lens of the Olympics. We read too many picture books and other stories to list them all. We enjoyed a version of Greek myths and the Magic Tree House Research Guide to Ancient Greece and the Olympics, both my Mary Pope Osborne. (So far, despite their popularity, the D'Aulaires myths books have not been a hit with Lala Bug.) When we came up for air after the Olympics, I shifted us into learning a bit about American government and the upcoming elections. We've read a smattering of books (we all spent a lot of time laughing out loud at The Kid Who Ran for President) and we have had a number of big juicy conversations. I am consistently amazed, pleased, and humored by how incredibly curious and bright our kids are. They have both asked some questions that have left me stumped and thoughtful.

For math – I had planned to bring review during this first learning period, and I have, but I am still having to tread carefully with math. My goal is to meet each child where they are and do so consistently. With math, I have a handful of resources and I am using what fits, when it fits. The following resources seem to be working well right now. I am using Making Math Meaningful, grades 1-5 for myself, as a teacher resource. I wish I had bought this earlier! With the kids, I am using a mix of materials, all fairly mainstream. Both kids always enjoy games for math, so I am trying to do more of those. (Games for Math and Family Math have been great resources.) Both kiddos are enjoying Beast Academy, we are occasionally using Khan Academy, Lala Bug enjoys math art (she's loving This is Not a Math Book right now), and for both kids (although it is primarily at Lala Bug's level), we are using Your Business Math, from Simply Charlotte Mason. (I learned about this from Kara Anderson. My kids chose the Sports Store math and one set is all I need for both kids.) I have and occasionally present Lala Bug with math from the Key To... series (which we are able to acquire through our charter school). She's not enjoying that as she once was, but it is very effective in teaching and slowly increasing the difficulty of important concepts, without having too much on a page.

Homeschooling isn't neat and tidy. It's here and there, with tears, with laughter, togetherness, wildness, fatigue, worry, excitement, enthusiasm, frustration, curiosity, exhaustion, and more, but it starts in pajamas, has rain dances and soccer balls tucked in the middle, and ends with hugs and snuggles. Not a bad way to learn.

seeing

Around me right now...

right now...

I am so slow getting photos marked and uploaded and blog posts written. There is a part of me that thinks I should scrap blogging all together. (Hasn't everyone bailed for Instagram anyway?) Part of me just can't let go, but I can't seem to carve the time from all the other balls I am juggling. This is all to say I am weeks behind. While I did get a post up for sweet Lala Bug's birthday, I haven't shared much else recently.

That said, the days have been full and I want to get some of it down, so years from now, I can look back and think "those were the days!"

Our little family was separated for a time when M traveled to India for work. His absence was felt acutely by all of us for various reasons, but Skype, which I previously didn't like, was fabulous for keeping us all connected.  When he returned home, we were, of course, learning about India, so we had a lovely tea time with Indian tea, treats, and stories.

 

Lala Bug will still insist math is her least favorite subject, but I have been catching her in self-directed math moments. Above, "May I just have a few more minutes to work on this before bed?" ("This" is a mixture of geometric math and art in This is Not a Math Book by Anna Weltman.) Below, she is curiously tackling a math challenge sent home with her from the math club she is unwillingly attending through our homeschool charter. (She seems to be liking the group, despite being the only one who didn't volunteer to sign up!)

Misty bunny, just because she is so cute. When we got her, I thought she might be especially therapeutic for Lala Bug, yet at the moment, it is Little Brown Mouse who is totally taken with her and can be heard adoringly sharing about her cuteness.

Below, Little Brown Mouse is doing rec soccer. The kids' weekly soccer class that he has been in for over 2 years now has been outstanding. He really shows skill on the field and I love his team and coach. Really positive, supportive, low pressure, fun. Lala Bug really wanted to do rec soccer too, but there was no room for her age group when we applied (right before the season began). She was incredibly disappointed, but has been the best cheerleader and coach (to me on what is happening in the game)!

 The photo above is just to say I love our homeschool charter. This photo is one of the many fabulous activities that happened on a recent activity day. Salad dressing. The kids came home and made salad for snack!

 Below, the kids at play. (Well, they aren't in the photo, but this was their set up.) Honestly, I am not quite sure what they were playing, but they were content, amiable, and darn cute.

 

Above, he ran out of city blocks for his alphabet. :)

We have been studying the moon during September. It has been lovely. We've moon gazed, read various books about the moon, made moon phases from Oreo knock-offs (I never buy them. Ever. The kids were thrilled.), went to the space and science museum, sat on a hill and watched the full harvest moon, and more. It has been enchanted bonding and was especially sweet when M was in India and the kids realized we were all looking up at the same moon.

to the moon and back

Dear Lala Bug,

Today marks my 12th journey around the sun as a mamma. You have made this so! This year has been one of such incredible growth. So much growth, sweet girl, that I am crying as I write this, because growth can bring both joy and pain. I am sure someone told me, before you were born, how much wonder, learning, and joy being a mother would bring. Maybe they even told me about the pain, too. I don't remember. I do remember being told to enjoy every moment, even the hard ones, because they go so quickly.
Oh, they do.

Your confidence and your curiosity have continued to soar this year. You have become a little more willing to try some of the things that previously made you nervous or frustrated. You have also come into your own a little more and I am doing the hard part of stepping back a little, letting go a little, still being there when you need me, but knowing that, soon, I won't be the sun in your little world. And that is hard for this sensitive, emotional mamma.

You still are so grounded in who you are; how and what you love to play, your favorite colors. (All that I wrote last year still applies.) You are still passionate about soccer. You know all about the soccer greats, but your heart lies firmly with the U.S. women's team. You still love ballet and there is nothing like a good dance fest in the living room to shake off the grumpies and return to center. You've found an appreciation for U2, John Denver, and The Beatles this year. You feel good about the way we are addressing your worries and you still find knitting (and crochet) a relaxing activity, whipping out a record number of skilled projects, including Stan the Stegosaurus. (All while I am still working on that ridiculous pair of slippers!)

Sweet cheeks, my hope for this year ahead is that you experience peace and pleasure in all that you are increasingly able to do as you grow. My hope for me is that I am able to continue nurturing our connection in new and loving ways. You are gift! I love you to the moon and back. A million times.

Love, Mamma

danaus plexippus

This is the story of 3 Monarch (Danaus plexippus) caterpillars; Dum Dum, Michael Phelps, and Bubbles.

Once upon a time, there was a young girl named Lala Bug. With a shriek of glee, she cried "Look! Look at what is on this plant!" Her little brother and her Mama, came running. There, on one of the small milkweed plants that they had grown from seed, was the little caterpillar. They watched this little creature on and off all day and then, the next day, when Mama went to water another milkweed plant, she found two more caterpillars.

Lala Bug, Little Brown Mouse, and Mama were very excited. They all loved Monarch butterflies very much, but had never found any in their own garden before. They gave the three caterpillars names. Little Brown Mouse named the first and biggest caterpillar Dum Dum. Mama named the second biggest caterpillar Michael Phelps (who does a beautiful butterfly stroke and in honor of the Olympics, which was happening when this story began).  Lala Bug named the tiniest little caterpillar Bubbles.

When Dum Dum crawled over the edge of the potted milkweed plant, the three amateur naturalists began to worry. They wanted to watch the entire life cycle of these lovely visitors. Mama suddenly remembered she had scored a butterfly habitat at a thrift sale months ago, so she brought that out and the three naturalists put the caterpillars, potted milkweed and all, into the butterfly habitat.

And then they began to watch. For days they watched, they watered milkweed, they rotated potted plants in and out of the butterfly habitat, and they took photographs.

One day, they noticed that Dum Dum was looking a little darker and was very still. They worried that he was dying! Instead, after several hours, Dum Dum made a little pad and attached himself to the side of the netting. Mama was concerned about his choice of location.

The next morning, when they went to check on the caterpillars, they found that Dum Dum had made a chrysalis. It was fully formed and hardened, with a beautiful golden rim at the top.

Not long after, Michael Phelps showed the same signs of darkening and slowing down. He climbed to the top of the butterfly habitat and attached himself to the lid. (Mama thought this was a much safer location for a chrysalis.) The amateur naturalists now knew, from observation and research, that Michael Phelps would curl up into a J shape before splitting his final caterpillar skin.

While the three humans kept checking, they missed the transformation Michael Phelps made from caterpillar to chrysalis, his third stage in his four stage life cycle.

A few days later, Bubbles made the same transition. This time, the three amateur naturalists caught Bubbles' transformation on video! It was a very exciting moment. (And it was a moment. The change happened very quickly.)

Now the naturalists had to wait. And wait. And wait.

 

More than 2 weeks passed. Mama began to worry again. Had they not survived this stage? In the meantime, the family of naturalists took lots of photographs. The chrysalis of the Monarch caterpillar is small, about an inch long, a lovely shade of pea green, with the most beautiful shimmering gold band.

They had not died! Suddenly, one morning, there was a beautiful Monarch butterfly. While the naturalists did not see the first, Dum Dum, emerge, they did catch the Michael Phelps emerging on video and watched her(!!) pump up her wings.

Each one of the amateur naturalists got a chance to hold and release a butterfly. In doing so, they discovered all three butterflies they had been calling "he" were all actually "she."

These butterflies were the third generation, so as they flew off, the amateur naturalists could envision their winged friends, flying south to Mexico or Monterey Bay (since they began west of the Rockies. East of the Rockies, Monarchs migrate to Mexico.)

Magic.